Tag Archives: the other side

7 Signs of Angels

One of the things I stress to my clients is, you don’t have to go it alone. Human life is hard, but between angels, spirit guides and our loved ones on the Other Side, there are plenty of folks ready to help guide us over the potholes and gaping sinkholes we encounter. All you need do is send up the Bat Signal. Then pay attention.

Here are some common signs that you’ve been heard:

1) Feathers: white feathers are commonly regarded as a sign of the angels. Sometimes you’ll find a big fat one; but small ones are no less potent. I was sitting outside the other day meditating when a tiny white feather drifted right down from nowhere. Sweet.

2) Butterflies. What a sign of transformation! You don’t necessarily have to see a live one; a photo or one on TV also counts.

3) Dragonflies. With their ability to “walk on water” (literally), dragonflies remind us to look beneath the surface. And, like the explanation above, an image will do.

4) Coins. Notice where and when you find them, if they’re especially shiny or have a significant date on them.

5) Music. Flip on the radio after sending up your request and notice what random lyrics have to say. Also, a particular artist may remind you of someone on the Other Side.

6) Rainbows. Judy Garland sang about ‘em for a reason. And they were a sign to Noah that the storm had passed.

7) Sparkles of light. When you catch them out of the corner of your eye, you can be sure it’s the presence of a helper.

The thing about these indicators is, they stand out. There’s something out of the ordinary about when, where and how you experience them.

I was once walking through Times Square with a colleague who was grieving the loss of his mother. Her nickname had been “Bird,” so every feather he encountered on the nasty, funky street, he just had to pick up. The gazillion pigeons in the area just gave him side-eye. Because, pigeons.

The point is, you’ll KNOW when it’s a sign. Trust it.

Also trust that help will come from spirit-side; but it may not show up in the way you expect. For example, you may be gently steered to overhear a conversation about a company that’s hiring, rather than get a promotion at your present job. Keep an open mind – our helpers know what they’re doing.

What signs of spirit presence have you experienced?  Leave it in the comments.

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My Field Guide to the Other Side

Kinda excited this morning.  I got up, fed the kitties, grabbed some coffee and logged on to see that my new book was uploaded to Amazon overnight!

OK So You'reDeadCover

This was one of those “aha” moments; over my time as a reader, I’ve gotten the same 25-30 questions hundreds of times.  Each.  So I decided to share my take on the whole afterlife thang in one place.

Among the questions I tackle:

-What happens at the exact moment of death?  What does it feel like?

-“Where” is the Other Side?

-Will I have to deal with people I couldn’t stand in life?

-What happens in a seance?

-Are spirits watching me….in a creepy way?

-How does a medium work? (Bonus info:  the one thing a medium might say that should make you run….)

-Are pets with us, or in a different locale?

-What happens to suicides?

That’s just a taste.  Frankly, as I started to write, the book took on a whole life of its own.  No pun intended.

At any rate, I think this is just the ticket for anyone who’s grieving…who has grieved…who will grieve.  Anyone who’s curious or maybe a wee bit freaked out over the thought of shuffling off this mortal coil one day.  I’ve found that, during an actual reading, the info has brought a lot of comfort to my clients.  I hope the vibe continues.

OK, So You’re Dead is available in paperback and Kindle formats.  Ain’t technology grand?

PS — I’d love to hear your comments on it; and if you’re so inclined, would appreciate a review at Amazon.  Thanks in advance.

What If the Dead Came Back?

Last night, I saw a promo for an upcoming TV show called Resurrection.  From what I can tell, it poses the question, “What if someone who died came back?”

The promo featured people aghast at this chance for a do-over.  I’m sure the show is going to go all murder-victim-comes-back-to-freak-out-their-killer at some point, but the basic premise looks pretty cool.

What would you do if someone you loved returned from the Other Side?  What would you tell them?  What would you do differently from when they were alive (the first time)?

One of the most frequent concerns I get during a sitting involves regret.

“Does she know how much I miss her?”

“Does he know I’m sorry?”

“I wish I could tell him I love him.”

In the case of this TV show, the characters get a chance for some face-to-face reconciliation.  I suspect this would be the optimal scenario for most of us – to have them here, in front of us, to say all those things that were left unsaid.

The thing is, even in spirit form, they DO hear us.  Plenty of clients say to me, “Tell them (fill in the blank).”  And I’m like, “You just told them yourself.”

If you’ve come to some kind of enlightenment about a thorny relationship, a new perspective on a situation, or just want to feel the presence again of someone you miss, try this:

Close your eyes and focus on settling your breathing.  As you relax, picture a beautiful bridge,  You’re standing on one end, and at the other, the person you want to talk to.  Imagine the both of you walking towards the center of the bridge.  As you meet in the middle, take a moment to look at them and see how wonderfully happy and healthy they look.

Take their hands.  Now tell them what’s on your mind.  Feel their love around you as you speak, and know that they are hearing every word.  Notice if they say anything back  (they may or may not, it doesn’t matter).

Once you’re done, thank them for coming and watch as they return to their side of the bridge.

Over the next few days, watch for “signs” that you were heard.

The point is, while we may not necessarily be able to see and hear those on the Other Side, they can see and hear us.  Use that knowledge to say all that was left unsaid while they were here.

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Bringing A Dream Back to Life

I love Facebook, mainly for the way it helps us reconnect with people from our past – like my college roommate.  She posted something today that made me recall how frikkin’ smart she always was – even if most of the time, we couldn’t see it through all the pot smoke and Southern Comfort haze polluting the dorm.

In 1979, this was a food group.

In 1979, this was a food group.

Here’s what she had to say about the upcoming holiday shopping frenzy:

“Just had a radical thought. Apologies to all the retailers out there, but who among us needs more stuff? Hmmmm? What if this year, instead of giving ANY gifts, we funded people’s dreams? What if we asked the people on our gift list, “What do you dream about doing/becoming?” And then, what if we took whatever we were going to spend on whatever THING they probably don’t need (even if they think they want it) and spent that on making something less tangible, but likely more valuable, come true? Wouldn’t that be amazing?

Yes.  Yes, it would.  But it put me in mind of something that comes up with many of my clients:  they don’t know what their dream is anymore.  Or they’re afraid to express it.  The litany I hear is a mashup of,  “It’s too late/I have too many responsibilities/it’s stupid…”  But the thing is, it’s your DUTY to recapture some part of that dream and make it happen to whatever extent you can.

Choosing to get on the wild ride that is human life is a big deal.  The souls that agree to step back into human form are opting for a major opportunity to not only grow themselves, but to help other souls grow by their influence.  It’s like throwing a pebble into a pond: the ripples move outward.

The dream(s) you came into this life with are part of your homework as a soul.  If you can’t quite recall them, think back to the things you liked to do as a child.  I was insane for ballet, and bugged my parents for lessons.  Hips and boobs and being 5’9” kinda killed the goal of being a professional, but my love for the art form has continued.  I’ve shared my knowledge and love of various ballets and dancers with younger enthusiasts, and like to think I’m sort of paying it forward.

In my dreams....

In my dreams….

So while becoming a pro singer, football star or veterinarian may be out of the cards, there are always ways to dabble.  Drill down to the core of what you love: if you can’t go to vet school, you could do animal rescue work.  If you never made it to the major leagues, you can coach Little League.  Ask your spirit guides to give you some direction.  They live for this stuff.

The dreams you have are the carry-on bags from your journey from the Other Side.  They hold the seeds to your happiness and spiritual evolution.  And the people who are also touched by those dreams grow in ways you can’t even imagine.

So this season, give thanks for the impossible notions you came into this life with.  Take a moment to dust them off,  look at them — then dare to make them happen.

“If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you.” — awesome quote I just heard on a TV commercial

How To Connect With The Dead

By a certain age, we’ve all acquired a few things:  a credit rating, a droopier ass, an inability to remember why we came into the room.  We’ve also acquired more than a passing familiarity with death and the loss of special people.

Like that droopy ass, this is something we’d rather not have to deal with.  But we do.

Even though I spend a fair amount of time connecting with the dead, it hasn’t made my own personal losses that much easier.  I have felt my mother’s presence many times, but sure wouldn’t mind the chance to hug her again for real.  I know that will happen one day, but in the meantime….

You know, I kinda hate to call them “the dead” because they do indeed continue to live in another dimension.  They interact with us through our dreams, through little signs  (like finding pennies), or by using a medium who is sensitive to their energy.

But I like this exercise, too.

Start by inviting a loved one on the Other Side to meet you in this meditation.

Choose a time when you will be completely relaxed and undisturbed.

Get comfortable and take several deep breaths.  Envision a warm ball of white light surrounding and protecting you. Now settle in and focus on your breathing.

Imagine that you’re at the top of a beautiful marble staircase.  You begin walking down the steps, noticing how sweet the air is and how peaceful and relaxed you are.

At the bottom of the staircase is a path that winds through a beautiful, lush garden.  Step onto this path, noticing the beautiful trees above you, the flowers in bloom and the birdsong over your head.  It’s a magical, peaceful place.

Continue focusing on your breath as you walk along this winding path.  Ahead is a garden gate.  Push the gate open and walk inside.  Amidst the greenery and flowers is a marble pavilion, open on all sides.  The marble columns glow with light.  You can see two comfortable couches inside.

Walk up the steps to this pavilion and settle into one of the couches.  The pillows are deep and soft, and you’re totally comfortable.

As you relax in this special place, you hear footsteps on the pavilion stairs.  Your loved one has arrived.

Look at them as they settle into the other couch.  How do they look? What are they wearing?  Don’t be surprised if they appear younger than when they passed.

Just stay in this quiet place for a moment, feeling their presence.  They’re so happy to be with you again.  Bask in that love.

Now ask them a question.  Go with the first response you get.  It may be a gesture, they may “show” you something, like a symbol.  Or you may hear words.  The most important thing is to not doubt what you get.  This is really happening.

When its time to leave, thank your loved one for meeting you and give them a hug.  Allow this beautiful, eternal energy to flow through you, and know you can be with them any time you want in this special place.

As you leave the pavilion and go back through the gate, you turn once more to see them smiling at you.  Walk back along the path to the marble staircase.  Walk up the steps, coming back into the present moment.  Open your eyes.

It’s a good idea to jot down your experience in a notebook.  This will help you notice any information you got in the meditation when it shows up in real life.

And it will.

One day, you will be able to hug your loved one again for real.  But in the meantime, the Pavilion is a great meeting place.

I’d love to hear about your experiences after you do this meditation.  Leave me the details in the Comments.

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The Souls of 9/11

I live just outside of New York City, so September 11th is always a somber day.  Everyone has their memories of where they were or they know someone who lost someone.  I have those, too.  But it’s something that happened in the aftermath that has most stayed with me.

Shortly after that awful day, I was doing some mediumship training with a guest teacher from the UK.  It was before Ground Zero was cordoned off to spectators; several of my fellow students  went down there to see if they could assist the spirits of any of those who’d lost their lives.   This is because, many times when someone dies so suddenly and tragically, they’re sort of like “What just happened?” and aren’t sure what to do next.   So, like so many volunteers, my friends were there to help any confused souls cross over.

But what they reported back to the class was interesting:  namely, they felt nothing.  There was no presence of spirit.  Nothing.  One woman described it to the rest of us as, “They were just….gone.”   It was a particularly odd sort of emptiness, which none of us had ever experienced when working with the Other Side,

Our teacher, who’d been at this her whole, long life, shared something that was both fascinating and strangely comforting:  those souls who were on the planes or in the buildings were released from their bodies ahead of their physical death. They were spared that pain and suffering, pulled into the warmth and peace of the Other Side before the worst happened.

She explained that, in many tragedies, the Wise Ones release the soul ahead of the death of the body.  The person finds themself in a beautiful, healing place where any memory of pain or fear is soothed away.  It makes me think of a child being woken from a nightmare by the gentle reassurance of a loving parent.

This idea was confirmed to me years later when I did a sitting with a 9/11 widow.  Her husband  came through and described his passing as painless.  He said he saw himself with other souls rising to a Heaven-like dimension, as if they were floating up from underwater.  The image he showed me was beautiful, and I hold it in my heart whenever I meet with anyone who’s suffered the kind of loss we did on 9/11.

Peace.

th

How the Dead See Us

We’re hitting the Memorial Day weekend, and although its become associated with barbecues, beer and that scary moment when you display your winter-white legs in shorts for the first time, it really IS about “memorial” — as in, remembering those who’ve passed on in service to our country.

Whether you’ve lost a military family member — or any family member or friend — I want you to know that they will probably be at that barbecue with you.  When someone crosses over, it does not mean that they cease to be involved or aware of life on this side of the veil.  To the contrary: they’re still keeping an eye out for us.

To me, crossing over is like graduating from high school.  You may be heading to college, but you’re still in touch with those kids a grade or two behind.  If those “kids” are family members, you want to keep in the loop, maybe not quite as much as when you were alive — but still.

You’d be surprised at how many times a spirit has let me know that they were at a special birthday or graduation.  They know about a new grandchild — or even the new addition you put on the house.  The point is, they keep in touch.  It’s like they’re checking your Facebook page.  So you might want to keep the sketchier “selfies” off of it.  Just a suggestion.

Anyway, those who we are deeply linked to, either by blood or circumstance, remain in our karmic phone book.  They are busy with new experiences on spirit-side, but they don’t forget us.  In fact, they’re closer than we think.

Most of us think that death takes us to a place far, far away; but in reality, they’ve just switched into a higher energy form. They move so fast that we can’t see them.  Hey, Star Trek fans.  ‘Memba that episode where Kirk is “sped up” by some alien chick?  Here’s a refresher:

That’s kind of like how it is for our loved ones on the Other Side.  They resonate at a level that we don’t easily experience; dimensionally, they live about three feet off of our ground.

For them to “appear” to us is not easy.  They must slow down their vibration, which takes some doing.  As a medium, I need to raise mine as they lower theirs — and then we meet somewhere in the middle, energetically speaking.  When they  show themselves to a non-medium, the process is even harder, so be super-grateful for that gift.

Because the process is tricky is one reason you may not see a loved one soon after their passing.  They’re getting used to their new state; its like falling asleep as plain old dumpy you and waking up as Angelina Jolie.  Takes some getting used to.  That bit of down time is good for us, as it lets us adjust to this life without that person.  Not fun, not easy, but necessary for our growth.  Wanting to “see” them again is a natural response, but being too desperate and needy isn’t good for them or you.

Grief is a powerful teacher.  And understanding that our loved ones continue to live on, albeit in a different form, takes time.  Just know that they are as close as your thoughts and memories.

Happy Memorial Day.

Guess Who’s Coming to the Funeral?

Tom Sawyer wasn’t the only one: dead people like to attend their own funerals. Come on, wouldn’t you?  They tend to stand near the end of their coffin, and watch as people pass to pay their respects.   They love looking at all the flowers and expressions of sympathy (so make sure you send really nice ones.  Just sayin’).

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Tom Sawyer enters his own funeral….and everyone nearly drops dead for real.

While the deceased enjoy seeing all the old friends and acquaintances, its frustrating for them to see all the sadness, because they know that, “Hey, I’m STILL HERE…”

Grief is a hugely powerful emotion.  It can work like a giant anchor around the spirit of a deceased loved one, keeping them (and you) from moving on.  They still care deeply about us, so intense levels of sadness make it hard to leave.  Kinda like a mom not wanting to leave their crying child (although, there are some crying kids you probably can’t get away from fast enough).

Like these....

Like these….

After our mother passed, my sister was desperate to “hear” from her.  She wanted a sign,to dream of her – ANYTHING.  But that powerful grief actually blocked Mom from coming through.  It was like a curtain of white noise that nothing could pierce.  Once some time had passed, and the need wasn’t as great, she did indeed have wonderful experiences of Mom’s presence.

Allowing our loved ones to transition is the natural order of things.  It’s not easy, but if we keep in mind that they’ve just moved on to another level of existence, one that allows them to stil be with us (albeit in a different form), we’re more likely to experience their presence, either through a medium, dreams, or little “signs.”  More importantly, letting them go helps them in their new life.  And it allows you to continue on your own path, on this side of the veil.

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I know that some cultures “celebrate” death. That’s not exactly my style, but I do try to encourage people to put their grief in perspective, to the extent that they can.  You will see them (for real) one day.  Trust me on this one…

You’re In Good Hands…with Spirit Guides

I remember the first time I learned about Spirit Guides — and how cool I thought it was.  Imagine having a whole gang of invisible helpers at your beck and call:  would they do the laundry?  Give me lottery numbers?  Give me the answer’s to the next day’s Physics test? The answer is no, no and HELLL no. Guides have a more specific purpose in our lives.

The subject of spirit guides has filled several books, but here are the basics as I understand them. Before we’re born, we decide what lessons we need to work on when we incarnate:  did we finally learn how to be independent in that last life?  Did we work out our issues with commitment, hard work or money?  Or do we need some remedial help?

Homework — whether its Math or LifeLesson #265 –sucks.

There are lots of individual variations in our life lessons, and our guides are there to help us stick to our plan – because, unfortunately, we don’t remember it when we get here.

Call it Spiritual Amnesia.  The only hint we have are the things that keep smacking us in the face:  the same type of person who keeps showing up in your love life…the same struggles with money or family.  The problems that haunt you are the lessons that will get us to finally (hopefully) tick off that goal that we set way back when we were floating on the proverbial cloud.

We each have at least one guide who sticks with us through all the ups and downs of this life.  They sort of function as a spiritual GPS, helping us come back to our purpose.

Does their GPS tell them that they’ve just driven 40 miles with their left turn signal on?

But since this path is ours and ours alone, we have to ask him or her to get us sorted out on the journey.  Their help won’t be obvious — it may come in the form of a helpful person showing up, an article, an e-mail.  It’s your job to pay attention and act on the help that’s sent.

Besides our main guide who is with us “from womb to tomb” as the Jets said in West Side Story, there are guides who come and go during our life.  Doctor Guides help during health issues, Joy Guides come when we need to inject some lightness…there are literally guides for everything (I could’ve used a Plumber Guide when I replaced my faucet….).

Yes, I would’ve endured this sight to keep my kitchen from flooding.

Guides have been human at some point, so they know the drill.  Some may have lived relatively recently. Then there are others who existed millenia ago and have since spent most of their time evolving on the spirit plane (which explains why one of my  guides shows himself looking like some kind of medieval hippie: white robe, sandals, the works.  The only thing missing is the psychedelic bus and the contact high).

I’ve been asked if a deceased loved one can be a guide; the answer is no — and yes.  They don’t function as guides in the classic sense, because they’ve been with us — or connected to us — here on Earth.  BUT those who’ve crossed over are certainly willing to help.  In this, they have two advantages:  1) they know us, what we’re dealing with and our particular human weaknesses and 2) now that they’re on the other side, their perspective is wiiiiiide open.  So when you’ve hit a rough patch, by all means reach out to them.

That’s “MS. Harry” to you….

As with Spirit Guides, the same rules apply with someone on the other side: you have to ask them for their help.  Even if they were huge butt-inskis in life, they’re encouraged to keep their noses out of your life unless you ask them to weigh in.

When it comes to guides, loved ones, angels, whatever, the main thing is to remember that YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO IT ALONE.    All of these entities are here specifically to help us in growing and evolving.  And when they do, they get points, too.  It’s like that saying that goes something like, if you really want to learn something, teach it.  They learn from us, we learn from them…and hopefully, our personal evolution helps someone else.

I’ll do another blog shortly describing how you can meet your own guide, but in the meantime, just ask for what you need and know that your spirit helpers hear you.  Prick up your ears and see what they send your way!