What If the Dead Came Back?

Last night, I saw a promo for an upcoming TV show called Resurrection.  From what I can tell, it poses the question, “What if someone who died came back?”

The promo featured people aghast at this chance for a do-over.  I’m sure the show is going to go all murder-victim-comes-back-to-freak-out-their-killer at some point, but the basic premise looks pretty cool.

What would you do if someone you loved returned from the Other Side?  What would you tell them?  What would you do differently from when they were alive (the first time)?

One of the most frequent concerns I get during a sitting involves regret.

“Does she know how much I miss her?”

“Does he know I’m sorry?”

“I wish I could tell him I love him.”

In the case of this TV show, the characters get a chance for some face-to-face reconciliation.  I suspect this would be the optimal scenario for most of us – to have them here, in front of us, to say all those things that were left unsaid.

The thing is, even in spirit form, they DO hear us.  Plenty of clients say to me, “Tell them (fill in the blank).”  And I’m like, “You just told them yourself.”

If you’ve come to some kind of enlightenment about a thorny relationship, a new perspective on a situation, or just want to feel the presence again of someone you miss, try this:

Close your eyes and focus on settling your breathing.  As you relax, picture a beautiful bridge,  You’re standing on one end, and at the other, the person you want to talk to.  Imagine the both of you walking towards the center of the bridge.  As you meet in the middle, take a moment to look at them and see how wonderfully happy and healthy they look.

Take their hands.  Now tell them what’s on your mind.  Feel their love around you as you speak, and know that they are hearing every word.  Notice if they say anything back  (they may or may not, it doesn’t matter).

Once you’re done, thank them for coming and watch as they return to their side of the bridge.

Over the next few days, watch for “signs” that you were heard.

The point is, while we may not necessarily be able to see and hear those on the Other Side, they can see and hear us.  Use that knowledge to say all that was left unsaid while they were here.

The Souls of 9/11

I live just outside of New York City, so September 11^th is always a somber day.  Everyone has their memories of where they were or they know someone who lost someone.  I have those, too.  But it’s something that happened in the aftermath that has most stayed with me.

Shortly after that awful day, I was doing some mediumship training with a guest teacher from the UK.  It was before Ground Zero was cordoned off to spectators; several of my fellow students  went down there to see if they could assist the spirits of any of those who’d lost their lives.   This is because, many times when someone dies so suddenly and tragically, they’re sort of like “What just happened?” and aren’t sure what to do next.   So, like so many volunteers, my friends were there to help any confused souls cross over.

But what they reported back to the class was interesting:  namely, they felt nothing.  There was no presence of spirit.  Nothing.  One woman described it to the rest of us as, “They were just….gone.”   It was a particularly odd sort of emptiness, which none of us had ever experienced when working with the Other Side,

Our teacher, who’d been at this her whole, long life, shared something that was both fascinating and strangely comforting:  those souls who were on the planes or in the buildings were released from their bodies ahead of their physical death. They were spared that pain and suffering, pulled into the warmth and peace of the Other Side before the worst happened.

She explained that, in many tragedies, the Wise Ones release the soul ahead of the death of the body.  The person finds themself in a beautiful, healing place where any memory of pain or fear is soothed away.  It makes me think of a child being woken from a nightmare by the gentle reassurance of a loving parent.

This idea was confirmed to me years later when I did a sitting with a 9/11 widow.  Her husband  came through and described his passing as painless.  He said he saw himself with other souls rising to a Heaven-like dimension, as if they were floating up from underwater.  The image he showed me was beautiful, and I hold it in my heart whenever I meet with anyone who’s suffered the kind of loss we did on 9/11.

Peace.

Psychic Health & Protection

Being a psychic is humbling, exciting, eye-opening, cool and inspiring.  It can also kick your ass.

They don’t call us “sensitives” for nothing: psychic or mediumistic work requires a shift in your personal energy that leaves you “open” to both the good vibes and the bad.  When I read, I can feel my client’s joy, angst and heartbreak.  It’s a fascinating experience, and it’s a huge lesson in empathy – but it can take its toll on the physical body.

Over the years, I’ve learned a few things for taking care of my psychic self and preventing burnout.

1)  White Light.  Before I read, I make a practice of visualizing an “egg” of protective white light around both my reading space and myself.  Because I’m about to open myself up, this keeps any janky energies or entities from getting in.

Better than a bulletproof vest and a bottle of Purell.

Here’s what I say before starting a session:  “I surround myself with the white light of love and protection.  I ask that only positive energies be present as I do this work, and help me to be a clear channel for the information which my client seeks.  I ask that they help me receive, discern and relay that information in the kindest and gentlest of ways, for the highest good and the good of all.  I accept nothing less.”

I don’t recall where I learned this prayer, and it’s evolved over the years, but it sets up a safe, healthy space to work in.

2)   Washing hands.  I do this both before and after a session, visualizing any stale energies leaving my body (in the TMI category, I also pee beforehand just in case – so I def need to hand wash!).  It’s also a sign of respect and honor for the tools I’m about to handle (cards, crystals, etc.).  Washing my hands after a session also brings me back to earth.

Not an OCD thing — just good psychic hygiene.

3)  Food.  I try to eat something light about 45 minutes before reading.  I need the energy.  After reading, I also have a snack.  Food helps ground me.  In that same vein, many psychics are vegetarian.  Good for them, but this girl needs her Big Mac.

As a matter of fact, I DO want fries with that….

4)  Where I read.  Early in my development, one of my teachers warned that psychics should never read in bars.  Besides the noise and the random assholes, you’re dealing with some crazy energy.  People go to bars for a reason, and their problems or pain is amplified.  I made the mistake of doing a few quickie reads when I was out with some friends one night; they went fine, but the next morning, yours truly was absolutely knackered.  And it wasn’t from the chardonnay.  I felt like I had holes punched in me, and it took days for me to feel normal again. So now when I go to a bar – white light or not – my shingle reads “Closed.”

Seriously. Jello shots and readings do NOT mix.

5)  A Process.  Intuitive energy or the energy surrounding a mediumistic session kind of has a life of its own.  Learning to control it is a little like learning how to ride a bucking bronco; there’s a rhythm and unpredictabiltity.  A routine for opening up and closing down puts a framework around that energy and makes it easier to handle.  The bronco may still buck, but at least its in the corral versus hauling ass across the painted desert.

Just call me the Psychic Cowgirl.

When I begin, I’ve put the white light around myself; when I complete a session, I envision a little curtain being pulled across my crown chakra, as a way to terminate the link.

“Thank you! And good night!”

Then I wash my hands and eat, and I feel like I’ve come back to earth.  Doing something grounding – gardening, petting my cat, taking a shower – also works.

Having a process for your psychic work is vital.  I’ve seen too many of my students go a little nuts with their blossoming abilities.  They walk around with their channel wide open, reading anyone and anything that comes across their path.  I think they like the attention. One woman was thrilled to tell me about the two people she’d read while standing in the Express Checkout Line; no mention of how her unwitting subjects felt about it.

Does an inadvertent reading count as item #16?

Not only is that just crazy intrusive, its not healthy for the reader.  When your energy isn’t controlled, its like an ungrounded power line.  Sooner or later, you will get burned but good.

So use these tips to stay healthy and focused both in and out of the intuitive realm.  And I’d love to hear what you do for yourself to stay sane and centered.  Hit me up in the comments.

3.5 Reasons You Need A Psychic

The way I see it, you need these on speed-dial: a plumber, mechanic, lawyer, and in my house, a chicken place that delivers.

I would add to that, a good psychic.

I’m not talking about hitting up Madame Lasagna at the boardwalk. I’m talking about those of us who are truly, sharply tuned in to the intuitive side.  That kind of information gives you a new (and sometimes better) way to deal with modern challenges.

For the record, this is NOT me.

Ever since the first human wondered if the person in the next cave over liked them or not, humans have sought ways to see what couldn’t be determined by other means.   Psychic ability lets us pull back from what’s in front of us, and sense other things at play.  The psychic’s brain downloads on a completely different channel and offers another source of information.

Intuition is a nice counterbalance to the super-tech, pointy-headed vibe of this 21^st century life.  It’s more organic. Your iPhone can do a lot of things, but picking up psychic info ain’t on the list.

Can find you a restaurant, can’t solve your relationship crisis.

Maybe that’s why I’ve seen such a huge increase in people coming for a reading whom you might not expect: a tough Irish cop, a psychoanalyst, a surgeon, for starters.  They’re finding a new way around their problems, by tapping into this age-old data stream.

If you’re still kicking the idea around, here are my 3.5 reasons to consider a psychic.

Reason #1:  WE SEE THE BIG PICTURE – THE REALLY BIIIIIG PICTURE

As a psychic, I’m focused on the particular issue you bring me, but I’m also “pulling back” to see what else is going on around its edges.  It’s kind of like Google Earth.  Many times, I pick up on things affecting it that you weren’t aware of:  past-life influences, karma, what’s up with the other people involved.  That kind of intel gives you a new perspective on why and where you’re stuck.  (Even if you’re not sold on the idea of past lives or karma, admit it – it sounds interesting, doesn’t it?)

Can this help me find where I parked at the mall?

Reason #2 WE GIVE YOU A DETOUR AROUND THE ROADBLOCKS

When the same annoying situation/person keeps showing up in your life, there’s a reason.  Yes, really.   The Universe is trying to get your attention, or to provide a lesson.  What is that lesson?  An intuitive can give you the crib sheet and show you how to finally move forward.

Even around this….

Reason #3   A READING GETS YOU OUT OF YOUR HEAD

Check the frownlines on your face: we spend so much time grinding our mental gears, trying to work out a solution to a problem.

A reading might save you on some Botox. Just sayin.

Sometimes, you need to take the brain out of it – and see what instinct and the heart has to say.  That’s the specialty of a psychic.  Add that info to the intellectual mix, your own knowledge of the situation and you’ve got something you can really work with in solving a problem.

Reason #3.5  YOUR DEAD GRANNY WANTS TO SAY “’SUP?”

Not all psychics are mediums – meaning, possessing the ability to connect with those on the Other Side.  But for those who do have that particular channel on their radio, it can be a powerful experience for the client.  My motto is, “It’s not a reading ‘til someone’s crying.”

Tools of the trade.

Connecting with someone you’ve lost  is incredibly therapeutic.  I’ve had clients finally be able to drop all kinds of baggage after getting a message from someone who’s crossed over.  It’s not only intensely liberating, it’s a big comfort, as well.   The right psychic-medium can hook you up on that channel.

When it comes to finding an intuitive, I strongly believe in personal recommendations.  You want a good fit – and a truly professional intuitive won’t mind if he/she isn’t the right one for you.

Let me just add that a responsible psychic will only ask for his/her standard fee (and not hit you up for “extras,” like “removing curses”); and if someone’s issues are above their paygrade, they’ll suggest a qualified mental health professional.

At any rate, if you’ve ever rolled your eyes at the thought of consulting a psychic, open your mind.  This ancient art is more 21^st century than you think.

Touched by the Dead

Almost every time I have a client sitting across from me, they tell me that they want to hear more often from their loved ones on the other side.  A medium can be useful in this regard: it’s sort of like being an iPhone for reaching across the dimensions.  But those who’ve passed are always letting us know they’re around in less technical ways.  We just need to pay attention –and then acknowledge it.

Me: “Siri, call Other Side.”
Siri: “Are you high?”

Many times, we’ll have an experience that makes us go, “Hmmmm” — and somehow, you just KNOW that it was from the other side.  There’s something a little different, out of the ordinary — but here’s what happens: we talk ourselves out of it.  We dismiss it as a coincidence, or imagination, or a hundred other things.  And thus, another wonderful tickle from our loved one goes unacknowledged.

You KNOW that smelled like your Dad’s Luckys…

In the movies, people have big, dramatic moments where they connect with the Other Side.  I wish it were like that in real life, but its not.  In my experience, the deceased tend to whisper, not shout.  I think it’s also a function of our own “radar” being a little clogged with reality TV, work stuff, text messages and other junk.

One way to tune that radar is to simply recognize when you DO get one of those little hinkys.

Right after my mother passed, I was upstairs in my loft, when I heard some things drop to the floor of my kitchen below.  I just “knew” that it wasn’t random — it was my mother letting me know she was there.  A week later, I had another experience of her presence, and I believe it was because I was a little more open to that energy.

Signs of your loved ones come in little ways:  you may hear a song that makes you think of them.  You may “hear” their voice in your head or smell their cigarette smoke.  Finding pennies is another way spirit shows up, or you may have a dream about them.   You may simply feel that they’re with you, especially at special occasions like births, weddings or graduations.  With pets, you may think you hear them around their favorite spots, or feel them sleeping on the bed with you.

The most important thing you can do is to acknowledge and thank them for reaching out.  When you do that, you grease the channel and allow for even more communication.  Don’t blow it off or think you’re imagining it:  that’s like turning the ringer off on your phone, and forgetting to turn it back on.

I love the fact that our loved ones are still with us. While it would be great to hug them for real, I’ll take finding a penny, or smelling my dad’s pipe or hearing my mother’s favorite classical piece when I turn on the car radio.  It’s a decent substitute.

THE OUIJA HEEBIE-JEEBIES

I still remember the first time I ever used a Ouija board:  I was in fifth grade, having a sleepover with my friends.  After a long, giggly debate, we decided the dead person we most wanted to contact was….Betsy Ross.  Go figure. (I voted for Bobby Sherman, but he wasn’t dead– a minor technicality).

“Easy come….easy goooo…..”

Anyway, we shut the bedroom door, lit a candle, gathered ‘round the board….and promptly had the crap scared out of us when my mother (listening on the other side of the door) gave a spooky “Woooooooo.”  Cue the sound of high-pitched squealing 10 year olds.

Ouija boards have a reputation, which hasn’t been helped by a long line of stories starting with “I heard about this guy who….” or movies where they burst into flames. But I personally don’t believe they are the default gateway to the demonic, and here’s why.

The board is a way of communicating with the spirit world.  Like any work with spirit, certain precautions are necessary.  Whenever I do a reading, meditation, etc, I make a habit of surrounding myself with the white light of love and protection.  I declare that only positive and helpful entities be allowed into this circle.  To me, this is my “Beware of Dog” sign to any spirit that might want to make mischief .

The same kind of precautions apply when working with a Ouija board.  You only want “good spirits” to come through.   And here’s one more thing I learned from a very experienced medium:  have a bouncer.  She works with a board all the time, but generally gets the information from one spirit guide alone.  When she wants to communicate with a different spirit, that guide steps aside – but keeps an eye out in case things start to go off the rails. He has the power to tell that troublesome entity to hit the road.

“I don’t care WHO you are….you’re not on the list….”

Several years ago, I had a Wiccan friend of mine make a Ouija board for me.  See how beautiful it is?

She put a lot of positive energy into it – and added one special touch on the back:  the engraved message, “with harm to none.”  When I work with this wonderful board, I have one of my guides serve as my doorman.  I also make sure to start every session with positive intentions and the circle of protective light.

Having said this, however, I don’t recommend working with a board casually.Like chainsaws, explosives or PowerPoint,  you need to know what you’re doing.  It’s just good sense.

Kids and chainsaws….never a good mix.

As for all those tales of spooky Ouija boards?  Wait…it’s spelling out something….”Forget….about….it….”!