Karma’s Not Always A Bitch – But When It Is….

I admit it – I love the Real Housewives of New Jersey. And I’ve been fascinated by the saga of Teresa and Joe’s criminal activity. They really had no clue that having a TV camera pointed at their extravagance might raise some red flags with government officials? (By contrast, nobody at the IRS would be interested in my cat-hair covered couch.)

Anyway, that new ‘ho, Terresssssa, made a comment in an earlier episode that “karma’s a bitch” and that Teresa is reaping the whirlwind from her generally skanky behavior. That got me to thinking about karma, payback and “what goes around, comes around.”

Karma is a weighty subject; its the idea that we carry unresolved issues from one life into the next until they’re sorted out.   But there’s a simpler aspect: the actions we take right now, good or bad, have a more immediate impact.

There’s an energetic component: if you have a positive or benign intention, good karma goes out into the ether. If you do things that are underhanded or have a sketchy angle, the negative goes out there, too.

And like a giant cosmic boomerang, those energies return in your direction – but with an added punch. (Having had a boomerang once hit me in the head, I can attest to the “ouch” factor.)

Wiccans have a saying that “whatever you put out comes back to you, three times three” (you do the math – but suffice to say, it’s a lot). That’s why no intelligent witch will work on the dark side; the initial payoff of a negative spell might be just fine. But watch out for later. Hoo boy, its gonna get ugly.

To me, karma is a physical law.   Our actions have a ripple effect, like throwing a stone into a pond. Most of us do more good than bad stuff, which balances things out. But I think its wise to weigh our big decisions by the impact they may have. Because that energy will return to you, three times three. Right, Teresa?

PS – Remember, if there’s something in your life that has you tied up in knots, a reading can help untangle things. Get in touch.

Getting Unstuck

One of the most common things my clients say when they sit down with me is, “I feel….stuck.”  It comes up over and over again. And again.

I know that feeling: you’re like one of those old vinyl records, and the needle keeps skipping. Yes, I’m dating myself, but whatever – where you’re at doesn’t fit in one or more ways. You’re bored with your job, but not sure what else is out there. Your relationship feels like it belongs to someone else.   You’ve got a nagging feeling, “Is this all there is?”   But at the same time, you can’t seem to make any significant moves.

Super-annoying. Especially if the album is by Captain and Tennille.

This is where intuitive information can be especially useful:

1) Finding the much, MUCH bigger picture. When you’re deep in the weeds on something like a complicated relationship, its hard to see past your own nose. When I tune in, my intuitive radar pulls back to see other influences at work. Most clients are surprised at what else is going on; that larger perspective is enormously enlightening.

When your issues can be seen…from space!

2) Decoding the karma and past life influences affecting you. I know, I know: some of you are rolling your eyes. But I’ve had too much evidence of multiple lives; its the way we learn and evolve. And there are plenty of things we “carry over” that impact our present life. A reading can shed some light.

3) Hooking you up with your spirit team. Frequently, I pick up on spirit guides, loved ones on the Other Side – even angels – who are available to help you.   These powerful entities can see waaaay further down the road and provide not just a look ahead, but assistance to get you where you need to go.

There’s a reason humans have access to information from our sixth sense: it’s specifically there to help us live the life we came here to do. So if you’re feeling stuck, take a fresh look and see all the options you have to work with. They’re there. Promise.

What Happens to Suicide Victims?

One of the biggest reasons that I wrote my book, OK, So You’re Dead: A Sassy Guide to the Afterlife was to provide comfort. Death is a total game changer, and the manner in which we exit this life shapes the way in which those left behind go on.   For example, with death after a painful illness, there’s sadness, but a sense of relief. When someone dies suddenly in a car accident, the process of grieving is entirely different.

I’ve had several clients who’ve lost someone through suicide. Honestly, this is one of the toughest things ever. For the person who fell so far into despair, this seemed their only way to find peace. For the people left behind, they’re left to navigate all kinds of emotions, from anger to guilt and more.

There’s another aspect to grieving a suicide: wondering what their fate is on the Other Side. Many religions feel that suicide victims will be eternally punished – personally, I think that’s a pretty cruel idea. Didn’t they deal with enough already ?

One school of metaphysical thought states that suicides boomerang right back into life without a break.   Either option adds to the burden of worry shouldered by friends and family.

My take is a little different. I feel that, once they cross over, suicide victims are given some time to heal. Not only are they recovering from whatever drove them to take their own life, they’re also working through their regret at doing it. There are some survivors who recall having a big “Oh, shit, what am I doing?” flash as soon as they jumped or unsuccessfully attempted whatever.   They realize its not the answer they hoped for.  Those who succeed have a similar realization.

I’ve had confirmation from spirit that suicides get a chance to heal and assess where it went off the rails. They’re put into a state where they can look back at their life and see it from a less emotional place. Then they’re told that whatever they didn’t take care of in that life will be presented to them again in the next. It may come in a different form, but the lessons must be faced. That’s just the way it works for all of us.

Two key things that never fail to come through when I’m connecting with the spirit of a suicide are 1)they’re unbelievably sorry for putting that weight on their loved ones and 2) they’re OK now. Seriously, I always, always hear this. If you’ve been touched by this tragedy, please take those messages for yourself as well.

I wrote about some techniques to help your healing along here.

My Field Guide to the Other Side

Kinda excited this morning.  I got up, fed the kitties, grabbed some coffee and logged on to see that my new book was uploaded to Amazon overnight!

This was one of those “aha” moments; over my time as a reader, I’ve gotten the same 25-30 questions hundreds of times.  Each.  So I decided to share my take on the whole afterlife thang in one place.

Among the questions I tackle:

-What happens at the exact moment of death?  What does it feel like?

-“Where” is the Other Side?

-Will I have to deal with people I couldn’t stand in life?

-What happens in a seance?

-Are spirits watching me….in a creepy way?

-How does a medium work? (Bonus info:  the one thing a medium might say that should make you run….)

-Are pets with us, or in a different locale?

-What happens to suicides?

That’s just a taste.  Frankly, as I started to write, the book took on a whole life of its own.  No pun intended.

At any rate, I think this is just the ticket for anyone who’s grieving…who has grieved…who will grieve.  Anyone who’s curious or maybe a wee bit freaked out over the thought of shuffling off this mortal coil one day.  I’ve found that, during an actual reading, the info has brought a lot of comfort to my clients.  I hope the vibe continues.

OK, So You’re Dead is available in paperback and Kindle formats.  Ain’t technology grand?

PS — I’d love to hear your comments on it; and if you’re so inclined, would appreciate a review at Amazon.  Thanks in advance.

Bringing A Dream Back to Life

I love Facebook, mainly for the way it helps us reconnect with people from our past – like my college roommate.  She posted something today that made me recall how frikkin’ smart she always was – even if most of the time, we couldn’t see it through all the pot smoke and Southern Comfort haze polluting the dorm.

In 1979, this was a food group.

Here’s what she had to say about the upcoming holiday shopping frenzy:

“Just had a radical thought. Apologies to all the retailers out there, but who among us needs more stuff? Hmmmm? What if this year, instead of giving ANY gifts, we funded people’s dreams? What if we asked the people on our gift list, “What do you dream about doing/becoming?” And then, what if we took whatever we were going to spend on whatever THING they probably don’t need (even if they think they want it) and spent that on making something less tangible, but likely more valuable, come true? Wouldn’t that be amazing? “

Yes.  Yes, it would.  But it put me in mind of something that comes up with many of my clients:  they don’t know what their dream is anymore.  Or they’re afraid to express it.  The litany I hear is a mashup of,  “It’s too late/I have too many responsibilities/it’s stupid…”  But the thing is, it’s your DUTY to recapture some part of that dream and make it happen to whatever extent you can.

Choosing to get on the wild ride that is human life is a big deal.  The souls that agree to step back into human form are opting for a major opportunity to not only grow themselves, but to help other souls grow by their influence.  It’s like throwing a pebble into a pond: the ripples move outward.

The dream(s) you came into this life with are part of your homework as a soul.  If you can’t quite recall them, think back to the things you liked to do as a child.  I was insane for ballet, and bugged my parents for lessons.  Hips and boobs and being 5’9” kinda killed the goal of being a professional, but my love for the art form has continued.  I’ve shared my knowledge and love of various ballets and dancers with younger enthusiasts, and like to think I’m sort of paying it forward.

In my dreams….

So while becoming a pro singer, football star or veterinarian may be out of the cards, there are always ways to dabble.  Drill down to the core of what you love: if you can’t go to vet school, you could do animal rescue work.  If you never made it to the major leagues, you can coach Little League.  Ask your spirit guides to give you some direction.  They live for this stuff.

The dreams you have are the carry-on bags from your journey from the Other Side.  They hold the seeds to your happiness and spiritual evolution.  And the people who are also touched by those dreams grow in ways you can’t even imagine.

So this season, give thanks for the impossible notions you came into this life with.  Take a moment to dust them off,  look at them — then dare to make them happen.

“If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you.” — awesome quote I just heard on a TV commercial

Do Pets Reincarnate?

‘My dog, I swear, he’s almost human.”  When he can bring in the garbage cans or do my taxes, get back to me.  But in the meantime, I’ve had several clients ask if their pet will ever reincarnate as a person.

My answer would be, Why would he want to?  When you can have someone attend to your every need and never have to make a decision about what to wear in the morning?

There are many thoughts on the subject of reincarnation and whether we “cross pollinate” into other species.  One religion, Jainism, won’t even step on an ant for fear a formerly human soul is living in that tiny body.  I guess we’ll find out for ourselves one day.  In which case, I’m getting rid of the ant traps right now.  But in the meantime, here’s how I see reincarnation with our critters.

Anyone who’s owned a pet knows how special animals are.  I feel they’re far more spiritually advanced than we are:  consider any dog who’s been neglected or abused, and how they still give their crapwad owner a tail wag (yeah, I can’t watch those ASPCA TV commercials either).

Animals have a near-endless supply of understanding and forgiveness.   They view the world simply.  All they ask for is a warm place to sleep, a steady supply of treats and kibble and someone to love.  And for that reason, they are a furry example of  how to live gracefully.  No surprise that science shows that pets help our health, or how the sight of a puppy coming to visit makes a cancer patient smile.

The four-legged/winged/scaled creatures in our world are reminders to chill out, appreciate nature, be kind and happy.  So, no, I don’t think our animals are going to opt for demotion to a human state. They have plenty of important work to do.  In between belly rubs, that is.

(And their work doesn’t stop once they’ve crossed over.  I wrote about that here.)

And just a note on pets reincarnating as another pet:  it MAY happen, but its unfair to put that burden on either the new pet or the spirit of the deceased one.  Treasure them as individuals and allow them to work their magic on your life.  Remember, I’m always here to help you connect with a pet, living or dead.  Read about my Animal Communication services here.

Connecting with Spirit Guides

I was recently asked, “How can I better connect with my guides and channel my higher self?”  Or something like that.

Quick refresher course:  each of us has a spirit guide, there to help us stay on track with the life plan the two of you designed before we incarnated.  You both set certain goals together to help you with your spiritual growth.  Unfortunately, the minute we’re born, that plan gets fuzzy in our human brain.  It’s like trying to recall a dream.

But your guide stays clear, and if you learn to connect with him/her, they can help you get back on track.  I shared a meditation to meet your guide here.

Working with your guide involves regular meditation.  That’s the space between the worlds where the two of you can meet.  Meditation helps you become aware of your guide’s unique presence.  The energy changes; you may “feel” them, or hear their voice.

By regularly connecting with your guide, you make it easier to sense them in everyday life.  It’s like when you call up a trusted friend to talk over a problem; you need to know their number first.

So make it a point to meditate on a regular basis, and to invite your guide to connect with you, just to hang out together.

This is also just common courtesy; don’t you hate those friends that only talk to you when they need something?  Don’t be that person.

Your guide’s job is not to make troubles magically disappear; but they will give you the tools and inspiration to navigate them more effectively.  They are a great resource when you’re struggling with a decision or problem.

Your guide’s help comes in the form of new ideas, helpful people, little intuitive “nudges,”  information that you run across online, a dream.  Your job is to pay attention and act on this wisdom.   The more you do this, the easier it becomes to access this wonderful source of help.  And the smoother your journey becomes.

The process of regularly connecting to your guide also strengthens your awareness of what lies beyond our everyday headaches.  It provides an uber-reality check that puts it all in perspective and reminds us that we are all just souls having a human experience.

Spirit Guides, Angels and Your Nana

“Is my dead grandmother/father/beagle my guardian angel?”  I get this question a lot during a session.  And the answer is…

Kinda sorta.

Basically, we have three kinds of spirit entities around us:  spirit guides, angels and those who’ve crossed over.  At different times, and in different ways, they are there for us.  Let me break it down:

A spirit guide is someone who has been in human form at least once.  They are assigned to us before we incarnate, sort of as a spiritual bodyguard.  We sit with them, drawing on a big whiteboard all the things we hope to accomplish or experience in the upcoming life.  Their role is to remain on the other side of the veil, helping us to stick to our plan.

“Helloooo? Are you hearing me?”

Of course, once we’re physically born, we have a hard time remembering The Plan.  We get distracted and diverted, but our guide is always there.  We just need to ask them to help set us back on the right road.  They will put a helpful person in our way, make us notice a particular job listing or an article about a new medical treatment.  They want us to succeed; I think of them kind of as the Ultimate Life Coach.

Throughout our time on Earth, we have different guides who help us with many specific things – our health, our parenting skills, our job search.  Those guides come and go, but there’s always one main guide who sticks with us from our slap-on-the-butt-and-bawling entry point to our return over the veil.  Here’s a way to meet yours.

While spirit guides have had the human experience, a guardian angel hasn’t.  Angels are a different breed altogether and possess some truly bad ass energies and powers.

In the Christian tradition, there are nine categories of angels.  Seraphim are those closest to God, followed by Cherubim, Thrones, Dominions, Virtues, Powers, Principalities, Archangels and finally, Angels.

It’s a little like the military, with each category having specific purposes and roles.  For the sake of this discussion, we’ll stick to garden variety angels.

Your basic Angel is the closest to humankind.  Their role is to protect, guide and inspire us.  The powers of a guardian angel are truly wondrous; they’re the ones you hear of showing up at crash scenes or natural disasters.  So unless your grandma has super-powers, she’s not technically your guardian angel.

“It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s…. Nana?!”

Grandma CAN, however, assist you, sort of like a spirit guide, by sending you information, people or other forms of assistance.  Unlike a spirit guide, she’s not waiting around, filing her nails and waiting for your call; our loved ones are busy living their spirit life; they hear you when you need them, but aren’t investing all their time in what’s happening over here.  I mean, when Nana was alive and moved to Florida, she spent her days playing canasta and working in her yard; she looked forward to your weekly call, but didn’t build her life around it, right?  Well, hopefully not.  Same with life on the Other Side.

Outside of serious danger, where a guardian angel will step in to help in whatever way they can, the one thing all invisible helpers generally require is…a request.  As humans, we’ve been granted free will.  If we need help, we need to ask for it.  They can’t just butt in, uninvited.

And in that regard, that’s one thing that’s different from most living people  we know, amIright?

I’d love to hear your experiences with angels, guides or someone on the Other Side.  Share in the Comments.  And head over to my website, whenevs.

How the Dead See Us

We’re hitting the Memorial Day weekend, and although its become associated with barbecues, beer and that scary moment when you display your winter-white legs in shorts for the first time, it really IS about “memorial” — as in, remembering those who’ve passed on in service to our country.

Whether you’ve lost a military family member — or any family member or friend — I want you to know that they will probably be at that barbecue with you.  When someone crosses over, it does not mean that they cease to be involved or aware of life on this side of the veil.  To the contrary: they’re still keeping an eye out for us.

To me, crossing over is like graduating from high school.  You may be heading to college, but you’re still in touch with those kids a grade or two behind.  If those “kids” are family members, you want to keep in the loop, maybe not quite as much as when you were alive — but still.

You’d be surprised at how many times a spirit has let me know that they were at a special birthday or graduation.  They know about a new grandchild — or even the new addition you put on the house.  The point is, they keep in touch.  It’s like they’re checking your Facebook page.  So you might want to keep the sketchier “selfies” off of it.  Just a suggestion.

Anyway, those who we are deeply linked to, either by blood or circumstance, remain in our karmic phone book.  They are busy with new experiences on spirit-side, but they don’t forget us.  In fact, they’re closer than we think.

Most of us think that death takes us to a place far, far away; but in reality, they’ve just switched into a higher energy form. They move so fast that we can’t see them.  Hey, Star Trek fans.  ‘Memba that episode where Kirk is “sped up” by some alien chick?  Here’s a refresher:

That’s kind of like how it is for our loved ones on the Other Side.  They resonate at a level that we don’t easily experience; dimensionally, they live about three feet off of our ground.

For them to “appear” to us is not easy.  They must slow down their vibration, which takes some doing.  As a medium, I need to raise mine as they lower theirs — and then we meet somewhere in the middle, energetically speaking.  When they  show themselves to a non-medium, the process is even harder, so be super-grateful for that gift.

Because the process is tricky is one reason you may not see a loved one soon after their passing.  They’re getting used to their new state; its like falling asleep as plain old dumpy you and waking up as Angelina Jolie.  Takes some getting used to.  That bit of down time is good for us, as it lets us adjust to this life without that person.  Not fun, not easy, but necessary for our growth.  Wanting to “see” them again is a natural response, but being too desperate and needy isn’t good for them or you.

Grief is a powerful teacher.  And understanding that our loved ones continue to live on, albeit in a different form, takes time.  Just know that they are as close as your thoughts and memories.

Happy Memorial Day.

How to Remember (and Use) Your Dreams

The other night I dreamt I was about to go on stage in front of thousands of people, to play bass with the Stones.  Only I don’t know how to play.  And unlike flying or breathing underwater, I didn’t know how to do it in the dream, either. Here I was gonna be standing next to Charlie Watts, a frikkin’ awesome drummer and one of my heroes. And I’m clueless. Clue. Less.  It still gives me the willies when I recall it.

I’m not worthy…I’m not worthy….

I know where that particular dream came from: reading an article about the band in Rolling Stone earlier. But there are other dreams that offer up more than just a psychedelic rehash of the day.

Like those wonderful ones where you encounter someone you’ve lost and they look wonderful.  They practically shine.  And you know – you just know –that they’ve visited you from the Other Side. Or the one where you get a “preview” of something that’s about to happen.   This is where dreams serve a really useful purpose, to “download” info from other dimensions.  Our conscious brain is in “sleep” mode – literally – so we can access different channels.

You may not think you dream, but you do.  It’s a vital physical function; in fact, I think I read somewhere that, when test subjects were prevented from dreaming (as in, being woken up repeatedly), they got really sick.  Umm, for the record?  I would cut a bitch if someone did that to me.  Anyway, the point is you do indeed dream — you just aren’t so hot on remembering them.

Dreaming is where we work stuff out on the physical plane, but more importantly, its where we access higher dimensions.  Training yourself to remember what you learn in Dreamland is not as hard as you might think.

First, keep a notebook and pen by your bed.  Second, set your intention to start remembering your dreams  As you drift off, tell yourself that you WILL recall what you’ve experienced in the dream state.  If you wake up in the middle of the night from a dream, jot down what you remember.  Do NOT tell yourself that you’ll do it in the morning.  Trust me, you probably won’t.   So roll over, turn on the light for 10 seconds and scrawl it down. Just like Jerry Seinfeld with his awesome idea for a joke…..which he then couldn’t read.

When you first wake up from a dream, try not to move.  This will keep you in that state between the worlds where it will be easier to consciously recall what you’ve experienced.  Once you’ve captured a theme, image, whatever jot it in your notebook.

If something really stands out, ask yourself what it means – then go with the first impression or thought that you get.  Don’t overthink it.  Stay in that muted place where things flow without a lot of intellect behind them.  Dreams reach us on a very subtle level; use more of your gut to interpret them, and less your brain.

There are some great dream interpretation books  ( I like Mary Summer Rain’s Guide to Dream Symbols) and sites out there, but don’t discount what your own bad self tells you.

Once you’ve built up your recall muscle, you can direct your dreams towards something specific.  For example, you can invite a deceased loved one to visit you in the dream state.  Don’t force this; they have things going on on the Other Side. They don’t sit around, flipping through Us magazine, waiting for your call. Make the invitation, then let it go.  Trying too hard blocks the energy.

You can also ask your Spirit Guides to provide an answer to a question by way of your dreams.  Even if you don’t know who your guide(s) is, simply throw up a request for information.  You can assign them a name if you want, or just say, “Yo, Guides – I need some help here with (fill in the blank).”  They don’t stand on formality.  Then see what they send you.  And don’t be surprised if the answer/info you get is different than what you expect.  Receive it with grace and say “thank you.”

Better than one of these!

One note – don’t get frustrated if you don’t get anywhere in remembering your dreams. Keep setting the intention, and eventually you will.

There’s an old folk trick to help the dream recall process along.  Place a glass of water by your bed.  When you first wake up, drink it down to help remember.  Or to get the stank morning breath out of your mouth.  In the meantime, enjoy a blast from my 80s past.  And the exquisite Annie Lennox.  In my dreams, I have her voice.  In real life, my singing voice is closer to Linda McCartney’s.