Karma’s Not Always A Bitch – But When It Is….

I admit it – I love the Real Housewives of New Jersey. And I’ve been fascinated by the saga of Teresa and Joe’s criminal activity. They really had no clue that having a TV camera pointed at their extravagance might raise some red flags with government officials? (By contrast, nobody at the IRS would be interested in my cat-hair covered couch.)

Anyway, that new ‘ho, Terresssssa, made a comment in an earlier episode that “karma’s a bitch” and that Teresa is reaping the whirlwind from her generally skanky behavior. That got me to thinking about karma, payback and “what goes around, comes around.”

Karma is a weighty subject; its the idea that we carry unresolved issues from one life into the next until they’re sorted out.   But there’s a simpler aspect: the actions we take right now, good or bad, have a more immediate impact.

There’s an energetic component: if you have a positive or benign intention, good karma goes out into the ether. If you do things that are underhanded or have a sketchy angle, the negative goes out there, too.

And like a giant cosmic boomerang, those energies return in your direction – but with an added punch. (Having had a boomerang once hit me in the head, I can attest to the “ouch” factor.)

Wiccans have a saying that “whatever you put out comes back to you, three times three” (you do the math – but suffice to say, it’s a lot). That’s why no intelligent witch will work on the dark side; the initial payoff of a negative spell might be just fine. But watch out for later. Hoo boy, its gonna get ugly.

To me, karma is a physical law.   Our actions have a ripple effect, like throwing a stone into a pond. Most of us do more good than bad stuff, which balances things out. But I think its wise to weigh our big decisions by the impact they may have. Because that energy will return to you, three times three. Right, Teresa?

PS – Remember, if there’s something in your life that has you tied up in knots, a reading can help untangle things. Get in touch.

Getting Unstuck

One of the most common things my clients say when they sit down with me is, “I feel….stuck.”  It comes up over and over again. And again.

I know that feeling: you’re like one of those old vinyl records, and the needle keeps skipping. Yes, I’m dating myself, but whatever – where you’re at doesn’t fit in one or more ways. You’re bored with your job, but not sure what else is out there. Your relationship feels like it belongs to someone else.   You’ve got a nagging feeling, “Is this all there is?”   But at the same time, you can’t seem to make any significant moves.

Super-annoying. Especially if the album is by Captain and Tennille.

This is where intuitive information can be especially useful:

1) Finding the much, MUCH bigger picture. When you’re deep in the weeds on something like a complicated relationship, its hard to see past your own nose. When I tune in, my intuitive radar pulls back to see other influences at work. Most clients are surprised at what else is going on; that larger perspective is enormously enlightening.

When your issues can be seen…from space!

2) Decoding the karma and past life influences affecting you. I know, I know: some of you are rolling your eyes. But I’ve had too much evidence of multiple lives; its the way we learn and evolve. And there are plenty of things we “carry over” that impact our present life. A reading can shed some light.

3) Hooking you up with your spirit team. Frequently, I pick up on spirit guides, loved ones on the Other Side – even angels – who are available to help you.   These powerful entities can see waaaay further down the road and provide not just a look ahead, but assistance to get you where you need to go.

There’s a reason humans have access to information from our sixth sense: it’s specifically there to help us live the life we came here to do. So if you’re feeling stuck, take a fresh look and see all the options you have to work with. They’re there. Promise.

Letting Go of the Past

It’s been a long, cold, lonely winter, hasn’t it?  Here in New Jersey, winter truly made us her bitch.  But before we know it, the snow will be gone, the grass growing and I’ll be elbow-deep in mulch and new plants again. The cold nights and biting winds will be in the past.  Thank the Lord.

It puts me in mind of this Tarot card.   I love it when this one turns up in a spread.  The Sun represents coming out of the dark and back into the light.  One is reborn, with the sunshine illuminating a fresh new path.

The Sun is about putting the past behind us, once and for all.  Notice that wall?  It’s keeping the past where it belongs, without it leaching through into the present moment.  Sunflowers represent a spiritual barrier, reminding us that the past has contributed to our growth, but it doesn’t need to keep influencing us.

See that kid riding nekkid?  That’s you, reborn.  Wheee!

I’ve had numerous clients fearful that their past will continue to determine their future possiblities.  They’re being held hostage by things that are overwith.  The past is like a nasty wad of gum on their shoe.

Take a moment to think about the issues in your life:  what still haunts you?  When you think of a problem, what’s your first thought about it (“I always do that….” “Ever since then, I’ve never had a good job…”  “I’m a loser when it comes to love”….”Mom always said I was [fill in the blank]….”

How often do those old echoes  come up during the day?  Really pay attention to your default thought process.   Make a note of everything that goes through your head, carrying a trace of the past.  When you catch yourself, write it down….then burn it.  See the past going up in smoke.  Literally.

Because the past is overwith.  Done.  Finito.  If you can see it as having taught you something, you can move forward in a stronger, clearer way.  The past does not have to define what comes next;  it can inform it in a smarter way, making the future that much smoother.

Take the lesson of the Sun card as we move into Spring.  And take my favorite Beatles song (well, one of them) as your soundtrack.     “It’s alright….”  [And remember, I‘m always here if you need a reading to see what’s on the horizon…]

Bringing A Dream Back to Life

I love Facebook, mainly for the way it helps us reconnect with people from our past – like my college roommate.  She posted something today that made me recall how frikkin’ smart she always was – even if most of the time, we couldn’t see it through all the pot smoke and Southern Comfort haze polluting the dorm.

In 1979, this was a food group.

Here’s what she had to say about the upcoming holiday shopping frenzy:

“Just had a radical thought. Apologies to all the retailers out there, but who among us needs more stuff? Hmmmm? What if this year, instead of giving ANY gifts, we funded people’s dreams? What if we asked the people on our gift list, “What do you dream about doing/becoming?” And then, what if we took whatever we were going to spend on whatever THING they probably don’t need (even if they think they want it) and spent that on making something less tangible, but likely more valuable, come true? Wouldn’t that be amazing? “

Yes.  Yes, it would.  But it put me in mind of something that comes up with many of my clients:  they don’t know what their dream is anymore.  Or they’re afraid to express it.  The litany I hear is a mashup of,  “It’s too late/I have too many responsibilities/it’s stupid…”  But the thing is, it’s your DUTY to recapture some part of that dream and make it happen to whatever extent you can.

Choosing to get on the wild ride that is human life is a big deal.  The souls that agree to step back into human form are opting for a major opportunity to not only grow themselves, but to help other souls grow by their influence.  It’s like throwing a pebble into a pond: the ripples move outward.

The dream(s) you came into this life with are part of your homework as a soul.  If you can’t quite recall them, think back to the things you liked to do as a child.  I was insane for ballet, and bugged my parents for lessons.  Hips and boobs and being 5’9” kinda killed the goal of being a professional, but my love for the art form has continued.  I’ve shared my knowledge and love of various ballets and dancers with younger enthusiasts, and like to think I’m sort of paying it forward.

In my dreams….

So while becoming a pro singer, football star or veterinarian may be out of the cards, there are always ways to dabble.  Drill down to the core of what you love: if you can’t go to vet school, you could do animal rescue work.  If you never made it to the major leagues, you can coach Little League.  Ask your spirit guides to give you some direction.  They live for this stuff.

The dreams you have are the carry-on bags from your journey from the Other Side.  They hold the seeds to your happiness and spiritual evolution.  And the people who are also touched by those dreams grow in ways you can’t even imagine.

So this season, give thanks for the impossible notions you came into this life with.  Take a moment to dust them off,  look at them — then dare to make them happen.

“If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you.” — awesome quote I just heard on a TV commercial

Spirit Guides, Angels and Your Nana

“Is my dead grandmother/father/beagle my guardian angel?”  I get this question a lot during a session.  And the answer is…

Kinda sorta.

Basically, we have three kinds of spirit entities around us:  spirit guides, angels and those who’ve crossed over.  At different times, and in different ways, they are there for us.  Let me break it down:

A spirit guide is someone who has been in human form at least once.  They are assigned to us before we incarnate, sort of as a spiritual bodyguard.  We sit with them, drawing on a big whiteboard all the things we hope to accomplish or experience in the upcoming life.  Their role is to remain on the other side of the veil, helping us to stick to our plan.

“Helloooo? Are you hearing me?”

Of course, once we’re physically born, we have a hard time remembering The Plan.  We get distracted and diverted, but our guide is always there.  We just need to ask them to help set us back on the right road.  They will put a helpful person in our way, make us notice a particular job listing or an article about a new medical treatment.  They want us to succeed; I think of them kind of as the Ultimate Life Coach.

Throughout our time on Earth, we have different guides who help us with many specific things – our health, our parenting skills, our job search.  Those guides come and go, but there’s always one main guide who sticks with us from our slap-on-the-butt-and-bawling entry point to our return over the veil.  Here’s a way to meet yours.

While spirit guides have had the human experience, a guardian angel hasn’t.  Angels are a different breed altogether and possess some truly bad ass energies and powers.

In the Christian tradition, there are nine categories of angels.  Seraphim are those closest to God, followed by Cherubim, Thrones, Dominions, Virtues, Powers, Principalities, Archangels and finally, Angels.

It’s a little like the military, with each category having specific purposes and roles.  For the sake of this discussion, we’ll stick to garden variety angels.

Your basic Angel is the closest to humankind.  Their role is to protect, guide and inspire us.  The powers of a guardian angel are truly wondrous; they’re the ones you hear of showing up at crash scenes or natural disasters.  So unless your grandma has super-powers, she’s not technically your guardian angel.

“It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s…. Nana?!”

Grandma CAN, however, assist you, sort of like a spirit guide, by sending you information, people or other forms of assistance.  Unlike a spirit guide, she’s not waiting around, filing her nails and waiting for your call; our loved ones are busy living their spirit life; they hear you when you need them, but aren’t investing all their time in what’s happening over here.  I mean, when Nana was alive and moved to Florida, she spent her days playing canasta and working in her yard; she looked forward to your weekly call, but didn’t build her life around it, right?  Well, hopefully not.  Same with life on the Other Side.

Outside of serious danger, where a guardian angel will step in to help in whatever way they can, the one thing all invisible helpers generally require is…a request.  As humans, we’ve been granted free will.  If we need help, we need to ask for it.  They can’t just butt in, uninvited.

And in that regard, that’s one thing that’s different from most living people  we know, amIright?

I’d love to hear your experiences with angels, guides or someone on the Other Side.  Share in the Comments.  And head over to my website, whenevs.

3.5 Reasons You Need A Psychic

The way I see it, you need these on speed-dial: a plumber, mechanic, lawyer, and in my house, a chicken place that delivers.

I would add to that, a good psychic.

I’m not talking about hitting up Madame Lasagna at the boardwalk. I’m talking about those of us who are truly, sharply tuned in to the intuitive side.  That kind of information gives you a new (and sometimes better) way to deal with modern challenges.

For the record, this is NOT me.

Ever since the first human wondered if the person in the next cave over liked them or not, humans have sought ways to see what couldn’t be determined by other means.   Psychic ability lets us pull back from what’s in front of us, and sense other things at play.  The psychic’s brain downloads on a completely different channel and offers another source of information.

Intuition is a nice counterbalance to the super-tech, pointy-headed vibe of this 21^st century life.  It’s more organic. Your iPhone can do a lot of things, but picking up psychic info ain’t on the list.

Can find you a restaurant, can’t solve your relationship crisis.

Maybe that’s why I’ve seen such a huge increase in people coming for a reading whom you might not expect: a tough Irish cop, a psychoanalyst, a surgeon, for starters.  They’re finding a new way around their problems, by tapping into this age-old data stream.

If you’re still kicking the idea around, here are my 3.5 reasons to consider a psychic.

Reason #1:  WE SEE THE BIG PICTURE – THE REALLY BIIIIIG PICTURE

As a psychic, I’m focused on the particular issue you bring me, but I’m also “pulling back” to see what else is going on around its edges.  It’s kind of like Google Earth.  Many times, I pick up on things affecting it that you weren’t aware of:  past-life influences, karma, what’s up with the other people involved.  That kind of intel gives you a new perspective on why and where you’re stuck.  (Even if you’re not sold on the idea of past lives or karma, admit it – it sounds interesting, doesn’t it?)

Can this help me find where I parked at the mall?

Reason #2 WE GIVE YOU A DETOUR AROUND THE ROADBLOCKS

When the same annoying situation/person keeps showing up in your life, there’s a reason.  Yes, really.   The Universe is trying to get your attention, or to provide a lesson.  What is that lesson?  An intuitive can give you the crib sheet and show you how to finally move forward.

Even around this….

Reason #3   A READING GETS YOU OUT OF YOUR HEAD

Check the frownlines on your face: we spend so much time grinding our mental gears, trying to work out a solution to a problem.

A reading might save you on some Botox. Just sayin.

Sometimes, you need to take the brain out of it – and see what instinct and the heart has to say.  That’s the specialty of a psychic.  Add that info to the intellectual mix, your own knowledge of the situation and you’ve got something you can really work with in solving a problem.

Reason #3.5  YOUR DEAD GRANNY WANTS TO SAY “’SUP?”

Not all psychics are mediums – meaning, possessing the ability to connect with those on the Other Side.  But for those who do have that particular channel on their radio, it can be a powerful experience for the client.  My motto is, “It’s not a reading ‘til someone’s crying.”

Tools of the trade.

Connecting with someone you’ve lost  is incredibly therapeutic.  I’ve had clients finally be able to drop all kinds of baggage after getting a message from someone who’s crossed over.  It’s not only intensely liberating, it’s a big comfort, as well.   The right psychic-medium can hook you up on that channel.

When it comes to finding an intuitive, I strongly believe in personal recommendations.  You want a good fit – and a truly professional intuitive won’t mind if he/she isn’t the right one for you.

Let me just add that a responsible psychic will only ask for his/her standard fee (and not hit you up for “extras,” like “removing curses”); and if someone’s issues are above their paygrade, they’ll suggest a qualified mental health professional.

At any rate, if you’ve ever rolled your eyes at the thought of consulting a psychic, open your mind.  This ancient art is more 21^st century than you think.

Why Bad Stuff Happens-An Opinion

Let me just start this blog by saying that I need a good foot massage. And a drink. Or three. The last few days have been spent with either friends or clients, all of who have had some bout with serious illness.  Lyme disease, cancer – the biggies.  I’m wiped.

Their struggles have been epic, and it was painful to hear just how difficult their lives have become.  In one case, a dear family member didn’t survive her cancer.  In another, my friend’s work life has been completely derailed by her illness.  It has been unbelievably rough.

Needless to say, each of these clients/friends had one question in common, namely, “Why?”

I do not pretend to have the answer to that one.  That’s waay above my paygrade. But what I DO know is that people who have a major issue in their life —  an accident, death of a child, special-needs kid, serious illness – have taken on a brave karmic challenge.

The way I understand it, before we incarnate, we decide that we need some “extra credit” in the Karmic School of Life.  By willing to live out an especially hard experience here on Earth, we make up for lost opportunities in past lives – or for having been a soulless putz.  It’s the mother of all summer school courses.

Clearly, making that decision to live through such a hard experience takes major cojones.  But it doesn’t mean that it makes it any easier once you get to this side and actually undertake the journey.

The point is, such an extreme experience is bound to lead to some form of enlightenment and understanding.  Its not just for you, either – all those around you that are affected by it will also have a chance to up their game.

My friend with the Lyme disease shared a lot of information about what she was going through, information that I knew would be helpful for another person in my life who was dealing with the illness.  In two hours over sandwiches, she had turned her problem into something helpful for another.

The client who had lost her sister to breast cancer realized that the experience of going through that devastating few years had brought positive change to her otherwise dysfunctional family.

Someone like Stephen Hawking has shown that, while his body isn’t under his control, his mind soars free, free to make astounding discoveries in science.

Still smarter than you.

There are others: the mother who lost her child to a drunk driver and started “MADD” or John Walsh, who suffered the loss of his son Adam, yet turned that horror into a crusade to find other criminals through America’s Most Wanted.  Talk to the parents of a special-needs child, who will admit that the practical realities are difficult – but how that child has been a gift in what they teach them about love and endurance.

I’m not trying to minimize the diffculty of surviving or living with a tragedy or tough situation – but when you consider the sheer bravery of the soul willing to take that on, well, thank yourself for being such a badass. And offering us all a chance to grow in profound ways.

How to Remember (and Use) Your Dreams

The other night I dreamt I was about to go on stage in front of thousands of people, to play bass with the Stones.  Only I don’t know how to play.  And unlike flying or breathing underwater, I didn’t know how to do it in the dream, either. Here I was gonna be standing next to Charlie Watts, a frikkin’ awesome drummer and one of my heroes. And I’m clueless. Clue. Less.  It still gives me the willies when I recall it.

I’m not worthy…I’m not worthy….

I know where that particular dream came from: reading an article about the band in Rolling Stone earlier. But there are other dreams that offer up more than just a psychedelic rehash of the day.

Like those wonderful ones where you encounter someone you’ve lost and they look wonderful.  They practically shine.  And you know – you just know –that they’ve visited you from the Other Side. Or the one where you get a “preview” of something that’s about to happen.   This is where dreams serve a really useful purpose, to “download” info from other dimensions.  Our conscious brain is in “sleep” mode – literally – so we can access different channels.

You may not think you dream, but you do.  It’s a vital physical function; in fact, I think I read somewhere that, when test subjects were prevented from dreaming (as in, being woken up repeatedly), they got really sick.  Umm, for the record?  I would cut a bitch if someone did that to me.  Anyway, the point is you do indeed dream — you just aren’t so hot on remembering them.

Dreaming is where we work stuff out on the physical plane, but more importantly, its where we access higher dimensions.  Training yourself to remember what you learn in Dreamland is not as hard as you might think.

First, keep a notebook and pen by your bed.  Second, set your intention to start remembering your dreams  As you drift off, tell yourself that you WILL recall what you’ve experienced in the dream state.  If you wake up in the middle of the night from a dream, jot down what you remember.  Do NOT tell yourself that you’ll do it in the morning.  Trust me, you probably won’t.   So roll over, turn on the light for 10 seconds and scrawl it down. Just like Jerry Seinfeld with his awesome idea for a joke…..which he then couldn’t read.

When you first wake up from a dream, try not to move.  This will keep you in that state between the worlds where it will be easier to consciously recall what you’ve experienced.  Once you’ve captured a theme, image, whatever jot it in your notebook.

If something really stands out, ask yourself what it means – then go with the first impression or thought that you get.  Don’t overthink it.  Stay in that muted place where things flow without a lot of intellect behind them.  Dreams reach us on a very subtle level; use more of your gut to interpret them, and less your brain.

There are some great dream interpretation books  ( I like Mary Summer Rain’s Guide to Dream Symbols) and sites out there, but don’t discount what your own bad self tells you.

Once you’ve built up your recall muscle, you can direct your dreams towards something specific.  For example, you can invite a deceased loved one to visit you in the dream state.  Don’t force this; they have things going on on the Other Side. They don’t sit around, flipping through Us magazine, waiting for your call. Make the invitation, then let it go.  Trying too hard blocks the energy.

You can also ask your Spirit Guides to provide an answer to a question by way of your dreams.  Even if you don’t know who your guide(s) is, simply throw up a request for information.  You can assign them a name if you want, or just say, “Yo, Guides – I need some help here with (fill in the blank).”  They don’t stand on formality.  Then see what they send you.  And don’t be surprised if the answer/info you get is different than what you expect.  Receive it with grace and say “thank you.”

Better than one of these!

One note – don’t get frustrated if you don’t get anywhere in remembering your dreams. Keep setting the intention, and eventually you will.

There’s an old folk trick to help the dream recall process along.  Place a glass of water by your bed.  When you first wake up, drink it down to help remember.  Or to get the stank morning breath out of your mouth.  In the meantime, enjoy a blast from my 80s past.  And the exquisite Annie Lennox.  In my dreams, I have her voice.  In real life, my singing voice is closer to Linda McCartney’s.

How to Meet Your Spirit Guide

I’ve written previously on the subject of spirit guides, how we all have them and how they stand at the ready to help you get through all the potholes of life.

Quick review:  before we incarnate, we make a deal with a fellow spirit.  For our part, we agree to take on the hairy experience of human life – which is jampacked with experiences and relationships designed to help our soul evolve.  For their part, they stay on the other side, keeping an eye on our progress and helping us stay on track.

“Dealt with bad boss? Check. Dealing with money issues? Check…”

Whether we know they’re there or not, they do their best to offer opportunities, new people, coincidences and info that — if we pay attention — can help us keep moving in the right direction.  (This is a super-short overview of the subject.  A couple of great books on the subject are Ask Your Guides by Sonia Choquette and Spirit Guides by Iris Belhayes and Molly Sullivan).  Moving on.

This particular spirit guide is the big kahuna; there will be other guides whom you can call on when you need help with something specific.  For example, a “doctor” guide can assist with a health issue, or a “parenting” guide with kids.  They come and go, but your main guide is always there.

Of course, the process of working with guides is way easier if we can recognize them and consciously develop a relationship.  Here’s a way to meet your guy…or gal.

               MEDITATION TO MEET YOUR MAIN SPIRIT GUIDE

Start by placing a notepad nearby to jot down your experience afterwards.  Close your eyes and take a few deep centering breaths.  Envision yourself surrounded by protective white light.  You are completely relaxed and safe in this space.

Now see a beautiful garden path.  You’re surrounded by lush greenery and flowers.  The path slopes gently downwards into a wood.  Walk along this path, enjoying the scenery as you go down, down, down.

You see a cottage in the distance.  Continue walking downwards on the path, drawing nearer to it.

You arrive at the cottage.  Notice how it looks.  Notice the doors and windows.  There’s a charming brass knocker on the door.   Lift it and hear it fall, announcing your arrival.  Now open the door and step inside.

There’s a gentle fire burning in the fireplace. There are two comfy, overstuffed chairs in front of it.  One is for you.  And the other is for your guide.  Who is sitting there?  What do they look like?  What are they wearing?  Keep in mind, they may surprise you.  You may expect them to be in long white robes, but be open. I had one guide show himself as a white man wearing buckskin — he had been a woodsman in a previous life, kind of a “Jeremiah Johnson.”  The point is to go with what you first see.

Now ask your guide their name.  Again, the name may surprise you.  When I first did this exercise, my guide said his name was something like “Rael.”  Well, that is just waaay too out there for me, so I asked  if I could call him “Ray” instead.  Now he shows up wearing a pair of sunglasses like Ray Charles.  That works with my sense of humor.

OK, so now you’re sitting in your chair with your guide.  Ask him if he has a message for you.  It may be short.  Ask him how he will identify himself in your daily life.  With “Ray,” I know he’s around when any Ray Charles music comes up on my iPod.  In your case, maybe your guide will let you know they’re there through a symbol, a feeling (like tingles or cold chills) even a smell.  Again, stay open and go with the first thing that hits you.

Tell your guide that you appreciate them being there for you and that you want to work more closely with them as you move forward.  This cottage will be a place you can meet in future meditations.  This is also where you will be introduced by your guide to any other spirit helpers.

Now, its time to leave.  Say goodbye to your guide and exit the cottage.   The path stretches out before you, sloping gently upwards.  Walk along this path, feeling the warmth and love you experienced being with your guide.

Continue walking upwards, gently upwards.  You feel yourself coming back to the here and now.  When you’re ready, open your eyes and return to the present.  Jot down your impressions, messages and insights. And — this is important — stay alert for any sign of your guide in your everyday life, and thank them for their presence.

You don’t have to go into a meditation every time you need help (good if you happen to be driving)– just ask.  But it’s a good practice to regularly spend time meditating and building a relationship with your spirit guide.  It will make it easier to interact with them, but mostly, it’s just good manners.  You know those “friends” who only call when they need something?  Don’t be one of them.

You know who I’m talking about….

To me, spirit guides are a wonderful resource for navigating the ups and downs of life.  Like factory air conditioning and OnStar, they come standard with our life.  Why not use them to make yours run smoother?

Ever have an encounter with a guide?  Spill it in the comments!

Reincarnation 101

Recently, I read a woman who lost her son a few years ago.    I can’t even imagine that kind of pain.  So I was not at all surprised when she asked if there was a chance that he might reincarnate while she was still alive, and they might connect again.  Let’s discuss.

Reincarnation fascinates me.  And it makes total sense to my hyper-logical brain.  I just can’t believe that everything that makes a person who they are just goes away when they die.  The force of personality is not organic, like a piece of old bread.  It’s much more than that.

We are not THIS….

Physics tells us that energy cannot die, it can only turn into something (or someone) else.  So I believe that when we pass, our spirit-energy goes to the Summerland to take stock and reassess.  It’s like the Mother of all Debriefings.

Let me break it down: you spend some time there, looking over what you learned in your time on Earth.  You hang with your ancestors.  You get really good at badminton or origami (even if you couldn’t fold a newspaper to save your life, when you HAD a life). Then you decide to return to Planet Earth, bringing back some memory of what you learned the last go-round.

“…just think: I couldn’t even walk and chew gum in my last life…”

You hope to move the needle on your soul’s evolution, by being smarter, wiser and more loving in this new life. It’s your chance to move up a grade, as it were.  Eventually, you “graduate” and can decide to permanently hang on the sweet side, although many evolved souls are opting to return to help the rest of our sorry asses out.

That, to me, is how I understand reincarnation.

I’ve read that we used to come back every 200 years or so.  But as our civilization has “sped up,” the process is much more frequent.  So does that mean someone you love will return in your lifetime?  Sometimes.  But that doesn’t mean that they will necessarily show up in your neighborhood.  They could be running a pedi-cab in Sri Lanka.

“Nana? Is that you?”

The other thing is, that when we reincarnate, we do bring some of the knowledge of our past lives with us.  But we have a hard time remembering it – and the people that were there with us (another reason for not waiting around for them).  I’m going to reference one of my favorite movies, Made In Heaven  with Timothy Hutton and Kelly McGillis.  It’s a great romantic film, but the way it depicts Heaven and returning to Earth is spot on.  Check it out.

Anyway, we’re back to take on new experiences; to be burdened with the entire memory of our past lives would make our heads explode (not to mention, make it really hard to decide what to put on in the morning). So while there’s a certain spiritual “overlay” of what we’ve been through, as with all our lives, we have free will to use it moving forward.  Or to completely forget it and go off the rails.

Here’s an example.  Early in my spiritual development, I met a guy I was cah-razy for. Naturally, after I got home from our date at the bar, I used one of my new skills and did his numerology chart.  Now, according to numerology, each of us has up to 11 Karmic Lessons to learn.  In some lifetimes, we may only have one or two; in others, a boatload of them.

Anyway, I was stunned to see that  Mr. Yummy had NO Karmic Lessons.  Zero, zip, nada.  This was a curious thing, because he turned out to be the biggest tool on the planet.

Thought he was this guy. Not even close.

You would think someone with no Karmic Lessons in their chart would be really spiritual like Ghandi or Jesus.  But you would be wrong. I was completely stumped, until I learned that, just because you come into this life with a clean slate doesn’t mean you exit with one.

There’s that pesky “free will” thing again. My hunk may have reincarnated after years of deep study in various medieval monasteries.  But in this life, he clearly had abandoned any vows of celibacy and sobriety.  And reading.   If he was someone’s long lost sweet grandma that they hoped to see again, they were gonna be waaaaay disappointed.

One thing to keep in mind is, the experience of losing someone is part of our growth as humans.  Grief is a powerful teacher. The understanding that we can and will connect with them in the spiritual realm is another lesson.  To hang on to the hope that you’ll see someone again in the flesh keeps you from moving forward.    Don’t put your life on hold for them.