A Word About Ouija Boards

With Halloween right around the corner, I thought this excerpt from my book, OK, So You’re Dead: A Sassy Guide to the Afterlife, was timely.

Especially since, at the movies, Ouija, is scaring the crap out of people. Don’t believe all the hype – but on the flip side, don’t be an idiot either. Read on.

….I would bet that at some point in your life, you’ve had an experience with a Ouija board or seen them in the movies. For centuries, the “talking board” has been used to communicate with people in spirit. It’s amassed a reputation for being “evil,” a beacon for demonic entities. During a recent bout of insomnia, I saw a TV show where they trotted out those same old spooky tales. Oh brother.

Personally, I don’t view Ouija boards that way. In fact, I have a beautiful one, handmade by an artist friend of mine.   Another medium I know works exclusively with her board, using her main spirit guide as the control during sessions.

The thing with these tools is that, like a circular saw, Strontium 90 or a high-powered rifle, you really need to know what you’re doing. The board does serve as a portal between the worlds and one must be experienced to work safely with it.

I choose not to acknowledge evil spirits. I don’t want to give them any of my attention or any power. But I’m the first to admit that I don’t know it all and there are some things in this world I have yet to have firsthand experience of.   Using any kind of mediumistic tool without proper precautions is akin to just leaving your front door open all night long. You never know who – or what — will come in.   Leave the Ouija board to the professionals…..

The Psychic Power of Joy

One of my favorite movies was on TCM the other night: A Hard Day’s Night is celebrating its 50^th anniversary.   Watching it again, I found myself smiling, laughing and dancing along to the Beatles music in my pajamas.

I started thinking about one of the reasons the Fab Four were such a break-out phenomenon: its widely thought that, after the horrifying death of JFK in 1963, America was in desperate need of joy. And they got it in the form of four cheeky, massively talented lads from Liverpool.

Joy is powerful stuff.  It changes molecules. It shifts the energy. I mean, even the grumpiest soul is lifted out of the doldrums by the belly laugh of a baby. And look at the phenomenal success of Pharell Williams’ song, Happy.  People crave joy to counteract the heavy times we live in.

If you’re not smiling at this, you have no soul.

I did a reading the other day with a young girl who was super-serious.   I suppose she thought that was what was expected.   Needless to say, she was surprised when I cracked jokes during the session. Being a wiseass is my personal style, but it happens to serve a very real purpose.

Joy amplifies the channel to the Other Side. It has a high energy frequency which makes tuning in to finer energies a lot easier. Think of how you feel when you’re dealing with something serious or sad: its heavy, slow-moving, thick.  Blech.

On the flip side, when people are laughing or happy, things feel light and clear. That makes any intuitive work way easier. Not to mention life in general.

When I was studying in England, I attended a service by the National Spiritualist’s Union. This was where mediums would give messages from the Other Side to people in the audience. Before the service started, ABBA music was played in the church. Instead of stuffy old hyms, we were asked to sing along to Dancing Queen and Take A Chance On Me. The minister then entered, dressed in an outfit to rival the cover of Sgt. Pepper. We were all smiles, the energy felt great – and it made for a wonderful evening.

Don’t discount the power of joy in doing any psychic work.  There’s no rule saying it has to be serious and solemn.  In fact, that may be counterproductive, like swimming upstream.

Before I read, I crank up my iPod and spend a few minutes doing my own Soul Train line to  the music of Earth Wind and Fire.   It makes me happy.  And it makes me a better reader.

What brings you ear-to-ear joy?  Indulge in it right now.

 

Can Anyone Be A Medium?

So I was just at this weekend workshop for advanced mediumship training – always good to tune things up, learn some new skills, stretch a little. During a break, I was chatting with one of the other students about what we did, etc.  I made a comment that I believe everyone has psychic ability. She jumped in  “But not everyone’s a medium.”

On that, I have to disagree. Yes, there are some folks who are totally awesome at connecting with spirits on the Other Side. To them, the sensing of energy, images, feelings comes easily. They connect the dots, seemingly effortlessly.

Other mediums may need to work a little harder at making the link with a spirit person. But they make it.

I’ve been in enough classes over the years to know that everyone can discover and develop their own ability. I’ve seen someone go from straight beginner to being able to give a mediumistic message by the end of a course. It may not flow as smoothly as those with their channel more finely tuned, but its there. The rest comes from practice and building one’s confidence. That’s really it.

I believe that the ability to discern other energetic levels is inborn in each of us. It’s a tool we’ve been given to more fully realize our life’s goals. Over the centuries, humans have evolved to be more aware of this ability and less fearful of it, generally speaking. I’m thinking that a hundred years from now, connecting with spirit energy or psychic impressions will be just another thing we do when we need information. Like a spiritual Google.

Our inborn ability can be drowned out by the struggles of daily life. It’s a subtle organ, easily overwhelmed by grocery lists, car pools, deadlines, whatever. Opening and developing your own gift takes time, practice and commitment; simply put, those are the only things that separate you from a professional medium or psychic.

When people learn I’m a psychic-medium, they’re all like, “Ooooh….cool. I wish I could do what you do.” I’m here to tell you that you can. I would love it if we could get away from regarding mediums and psychics like they’re magical creatures from another planet; the same ability to pick up other energies is part of your DNA, too.

And personally, I think the world would be a much more peaceful place if we all tapped into it. So start tapping, bitches.

I shared some simple exercises to open your own psychic channel here.   And I write more about the Other Side in my new book – which is a great read, if I do say so myself!

 

On Psychic Accuracy

I got a really nice email from someone I just read, happily announcing that she’s pregnant. During our session, the question had come up. I saw some minor issues conceiving, but with a healthy pregnancy by November.

Turns out, that’s when she’s due to give birth. She did have a few fertility problems in the past, but felt they had been resolved (clearly, they were!). In her email, she asked about the timing around this question, and why it was sort of “reversed” during our reading.

That’s a good one. The psychic process is not an exact science. For me, the information that I get sort of flows over and under itself; I’m along for the ride, trying to pick out the mile markers and identifying people and points in time. But its not an atomic clock.

Psychics are not Hal 5000

I think most psychics will tell you that they “let go” during a reading; we surrender our conscious, logical mind to something a bit more fluid. It’s the nature of the thing. Intuition is far more organic, and has its own language. By trying to be too precise, it can choke off the flow. At least, that’s how it feels to me.

Sometimes it can feel like this….

Being the super-organized, somewhat controlling person that I am in my daily life, the psychic process is challenging. But I’ve found it to be a good counterweight to my own growth. As I read, I avoid trying to be too exact, because once I go there, it’s more “me” talking and less spirit.

If you’re looking for 100%, time-and-date specific, bet-the-farm-on-it information, there’s always Wikipedia. Know that intuitive information is a little squishier. The edges around a message may be blurry, but the core is what you need to consider. Take what resonates from a reading, and leave the rest.

Fellow psychics, what’s your take on this?

What Happens to Suicide Victims?

One of the biggest reasons that I wrote my book, OK, So You’re Dead: A Sassy Guide to the Afterlife was to provide comfort. Death is a total game changer, and the manner in which we exit this life shapes the way in which those left behind go on.   For example, with death after a painful illness, there’s sadness, but a sense of relief. When someone dies suddenly in a car accident, the process of grieving is entirely different.

I’ve had several clients who’ve lost someone through suicide. Honestly, this is one of the toughest things ever. For the person who fell so far into despair, this seemed their only way to find peace. For the people left behind, they’re left to navigate all kinds of emotions, from anger to guilt and more.

There’s another aspect to grieving a suicide: wondering what their fate is on the Other Side. Many religions feel that suicide victims will be eternally punished – personally, I think that’s a pretty cruel idea. Didn’t they deal with enough already ?

One school of metaphysical thought states that suicides boomerang right back into life without a break.   Either option adds to the burden of worry shouldered by friends and family.

My take is a little different. I feel that, once they cross over, suicide victims are given some time to heal. Not only are they recovering from whatever drove them to take their own life, they’re also working through their regret at doing it. There are some survivors who recall having a big “Oh, shit, what am I doing?” flash as soon as they jumped or unsuccessfully attempted whatever.   They realize its not the answer they hoped for.  Those who succeed have a similar realization.

I’ve had confirmation from spirit that suicides get a chance to heal and assess where it went off the rails. They’re put into a state where they can look back at their life and see it from a less emotional place. Then they’re told that whatever they didn’t take care of in that life will be presented to them again in the next. It may come in a different form, but the lessons must be faced. That’s just the way it works for all of us.

Two key things that never fail to come through when I’m connecting with the spirit of a suicide are 1)they’re unbelievably sorry for putting that weight on their loved ones and 2) they’re OK now. Seriously, I always, always hear this. If you’ve been touched by this tragedy, please take those messages for yourself as well.

I wrote about some techniques to help your healing along here.

Your Psychic Health

Whenever I  teach a Psychic Development class, I know I’ll have at least one student who’ll show up after a few weeks looking a little fried.  They have bags under their eyes, they seem kinda spent or frazzled, and they tend to just talkandtalkandtalk.   It’s exhausting to be around them, bless their pointed little head.

And I can tell immediately: they’ve been operating their newly-developed psychic abilities without a permit.

I get it:  its exciting when you start actively working with your intuition.  A whole new world opens up – literally.  But without some healthy habits, you run the risk of feeling like you got run over by a monster truck.  Or three.

Working psychically changes your physical makeup.  There’s an electrical dimension to our bodies; when we dial up our intuitive senses, we’re upping the wattage.   And like loose wires, that energy needs to be grounded to prevent burnout or that general spacey feeling.

You’ve been warned.

Regular meditation is a good place to start.  It helps develop a sense of control over your breath, and lets you navigate the subtle changes in your energetic body.

Then there’s preparation.  Before I read, I first surround both myself and the space with a protective white light.  I’m dealing with energy, so I want anything heavy or difficult to be kept at bay.

I do a short meditation (in addition to the one I do daily), then envision a window opening in the back of my head.  This is my personal technique that “tells” my conscious mind to shift into a different gear.   Once I’m through, I reverse it and “close” the window.   It’s like working out:  a warm up and cool down are essential to keep from getting injured.

Also, take it a little at a time.  If you try to open up your channels too quickly,  you’ll feel sort of fried.  Gradually build up how long you stay in the psychic flow.

Nice try, Hercules….

 

Because that side of our brain generates fine, fast-moving energy, it’s a good idea to counterbalance it with something slower and more grounded.  After a session, I always eat something, put my hands on the ground or pet my cats.  Anything “earth” related will bring you back into your body and offset that spacey feeling.

The other thing is to be careful where you read.  Working in the same spot builds up the positive vibrations, which not only helps your connection, but also protects you.   The “reading rooms” at the shop I used to work at had a great, juicy feel to them because of all the positive work that was done there.

I learned very early on to not read in bars or random public places.  The energy can be  very hard or heavy, and you’ll feel it for days after.  A lot of newbies will try and “read” people just wherever – and they pay the price.  As tempting as it may be, stick to appropriate times and places  to do intuitive work.  Put a process in place to better direct your energy, so its not just sparking all over the damn place.

For those who are naturally extra-sensitive, I wrote about a technique to add an extra layer of protection and smooth out that jagged feeling.  Wearing dark clothes or carrying dark colored crystals like smoky quartz or obsidian can ground you, as well.  Here are some other stones that are helpful for psychic work.

The thing is, providing a framework and a system to your psychic work will make it more effective – and make your daily life as a whole more comfortable.

What do you do to stay healthy and grounded in the spirit realm?  Hit me up in the comments.

 

My Field Guide to the Other Side

Kinda excited this morning.  I got up, fed the kitties, grabbed some coffee and logged on to see that my new book was uploaded to Amazon overnight!

This was one of those “aha” moments; over my time as a reader, I’ve gotten the same 25-30 questions hundreds of times.  Each.  So I decided to share my take on the whole afterlife thang in one place.

Among the questions I tackle:

-What happens at the exact moment of death?  What does it feel like?

-“Where” is the Other Side?

-Will I have to deal with people I couldn’t stand in life?

-What happens in a seance?

-Are spirits watching me….in a creepy way?

-How does a medium work? (Bonus info:  the one thing a medium might say that should make you run….)

-Are pets with us, or in a different locale?

-What happens to suicides?

That’s just a taste.  Frankly, as I started to write, the book took on a whole life of its own.  No pun intended.

At any rate, I think this is just the ticket for anyone who’s grieving…who has grieved…who will grieve.  Anyone who’s curious or maybe a wee bit freaked out over the thought of shuffling off this mortal coil one day.  I’ve found that, during an actual reading, the info has brought a lot of comfort to my clients.  I hope the vibe continues.

OK, So You’re Dead is available in paperback and Kindle formats.  Ain’t technology grand?

PS — I’d love to hear your comments on it; and if you’re so inclined, would appreciate a review at Amazon.  Thanks in advance.

What If the Dead Came Back?

Last night, I saw a promo for an upcoming TV show called Resurrection.  From what I can tell, it poses the question, “What if someone who died came back?”

The promo featured people aghast at this chance for a do-over.  I’m sure the show is going to go all murder-victim-comes-back-to-freak-out-their-killer at some point, but the basic premise looks pretty cool.

What would you do if someone you loved returned from the Other Side?  What would you tell them?  What would you do differently from when they were alive (the first time)?

One of the most frequent concerns I get during a sitting involves regret.

“Does she know how much I miss her?”

“Does he know I’m sorry?”

“I wish I could tell him I love him.”

In the case of this TV show, the characters get a chance for some face-to-face reconciliation.  I suspect this would be the optimal scenario for most of us – to have them here, in front of us, to say all those things that were left unsaid.

The thing is, even in spirit form, they DO hear us.  Plenty of clients say to me, “Tell them (fill in the blank).”  And I’m like, “You just told them yourself.”

If you’ve come to some kind of enlightenment about a thorny relationship, a new perspective on a situation, or just want to feel the presence again of someone you miss, try this:

Close your eyes and focus on settling your breathing.  As you relax, picture a beautiful bridge,  You’re standing on one end, and at the other, the person you want to talk to.  Imagine the both of you walking towards the center of the bridge.  As you meet in the middle, take a moment to look at them and see how wonderfully happy and healthy they look.

Take their hands.  Now tell them what’s on your mind.  Feel their love around you as you speak, and know that they are hearing every word.  Notice if they say anything back  (they may or may not, it doesn’t matter).

Once you’re done, thank them for coming and watch as they return to their side of the bridge.

Over the next few days, watch for “signs” that you were heard.

The point is, while we may not necessarily be able to see and hear those on the Other Side, they can see and hear us.  Use that knowledge to say all that was left unsaid while they were here.

How to Do An EVP Session

You’re not the only one who digs having a new phone or iPad.  Spirits looovvvve anything electronic.  I’m not sure why this is, except that gadgets of the electric kind make it easier for spirit to let us know they’re around.

Throughout the ages, spirit has used human “stuff” to give us a sense of their presence; there’s a house in Greenwich Village that Thomas Jefferson once lived in.  The residents say his ghost loves to flush the toilets.  But there’s something about electrical current that meshes even more nicely with the vibration of the spirit plane.

But did he put the seat back down? Typical guy.

Professional ghosthunters have all kinds of high-tech doohickeys to measure the presence of spirit, but I had a chance to interact with the Other Side simply using my iPhone.

It’s called “EVP” – “electronic voice phenomenon.”  Ghosthunters have been known to leave recording devices running in an area that’s purported to be haunted.  Upon playback, they’ll hear voices, noises and other things that weren’t witnessed at the time.  The digital sensitivity of the machine picks up on other dimensions.

I was with a friend recently who suspected that her late father was hanging around her house.  We started our session by first invoking the white light of protection in the space.  This is critical whenever you work with the spirit dimension, because, let’s face it:  we don’t know everything and you never know who might decide to use the open channel.  So invoking the white light is just good practice, like putting on your seat belt.

We lit a candle (which helps spirit focus in on our presence) and invited her father to join us in our sacred space.  Then I turned on my phone’s Voice Memo function.

I asked several questions, leaving a space for him to “answer.”

After a few minutes, we closed the sacred space, blew out the candle – then played back the recording.

Amazingly, we heard “answers” to our questions.  They came in short one or two word bursts (yeah, don’t expect a full-on conversation or the Gettysburg Address; its not so easy for spirit to mesh their energy with ours to the degree  that we can talk like we do with our friends).   Plus, we heard a knocking sound that we hadn’t heard during the session.

I had a similar experience when I was studying at the Arthur Findlay College in the UK.  We set up a tape recorder in one of the rooms most used for spirit work, asked questions — then played back the answers, which featured two distinctly different male voices and one female voice.  Wowza.

Needless to say, EVP can be pretty cool.  And its nice to know that your phone can be used to “make a call” as it were to loved ones on the Other Side.

Let me know your own results with EVP by leaving it in the Comments.  And if you have questions, hit me up at the website.

Boo! Some Thoughts On Ghosts

Last night, I was still in a food coma from Thanksgiving and all its leftovers, so I found myself on the couch watching a marathon of one of those ghost/haunting shows.  Things flying through the air, funky smells, noises, apparitions, lots of screaming people.  Made me happy for my quiet little un-haunted house.

But it got me to thinking about ghosts.  As a psychic-medium, I deal with spirits.  But I have yet to encounter one of those spooky, home-wrecking ghosts (and if I did, I’d probably need a change of underwear.  I’m not ashamed to admit it.)  Anyway,  I have some thoughts on the subject.

First off, ghosts are spirits who have yet to go to the Light. They hang around for lots of reasons.  I think the biggest one is a fear of going to the Light; they’re afraid of having to face up to any bad behavior, real or exaggerated.  So they hang out between the worlds.  I mean, we’re given free will in this life, and to some extent, that includes our choices after we die.

Many ghosts will just sort of “pace” between the worlds.  They stay in an area that seems comforting and familiar, even as it changes around them. In their eyes, their home is the same as it was back in the day, even if now, there’s a freeway runnin’ through the yard (apologies to Tom Petty).

Some ghosts may get noisy, and I think its their way of letting people know they’re still around.   I mean, considering we live in an age where we update our social media every 5 minutes, can’t blame a lost soul for ratttling some plates to make their presence known.

Sometimes a ghost is actually just an energetic imprint.  Something intense happened and punched its mark into the atmosphere – like the appearance of Civil War soldiers on the battlefield.  I hate to think those poor guys are still having to relive their trauma; I think that what gets “seen” on those ghost walks is almost like a movie playing out long after the actors have left the set.

For spirits who are indeed stuck here – for whatever reason – there’s something called “Soul Rescue.”  This is a specialized form of mediumship, where the medium works with certain spirit guides to help convince the hangers-on to move on to the Light.

But I mean, when you think of how many people die in a year – and how comparitively few ghosts there are in the world, hauntings are pretty rare.

The thing they all have in common though, is to scare the bejeepers out of most anyone who encounters them.

Fear is a very powerful energy; for some disembodied spirits, it can literally feed them.  If you can dial back the fear, you can also dial down the influence – or frequency in appearance – of a ghost.  Whether they’re benign like Casper or scary like Freddie makes no difference; that initial “Holy crap!” reaction is like a shot of 5-Hour Energy to spirits.

When it comes to dealing with ghosts, anything that makes you feel more powerful and less fearful – prayer, holy medallions, lucky talismans, tequila – will help.  Archangel Michael is a great ally to call on when you’re feeling anxious (ghosts or not).  The Catholic Chuch believes he did battle with Lucifer, so he can take on your jittery nerves or garden-variety spook without breaking a sweat.

One of my bedtime rituals is to ask Michael to stand guard around my home as I sleep.  It makes for sweet dreams.

Just for fun, other cultures have some interesting other “ghostbusting” traditions:

-Put salt across the threshold of your door.  This is good for keeping any janky energies in general from entering (like your pain-in-the-ass neighbor).  My friend Joanne says that, in Greece, they put sugar under the doormat for similar reasons.

-In the Far East, priests purified and protected their temples with cinnamon sticks.  Place a bundle by your door or over the windows.

-Wind chimes began as a way to scare off negative energies.  And they sound awesome!

-Wear anything made of silver or obsidian as protection.

-Garlic over an entry way keeps anything troublesome spirit away.