Category Archives: Change

Karma’s Not Always A Bitch – But When It Is….

I admit it – I love the Real Housewives of New Jersey. And I’ve been fascinated by the saga of Teresa and Joe’s criminal activity. They really had no clue that having a TV camera pointed at their extravagance might raise some red flags with government officials? (By contrast, nobody at the IRS would be interested in my cat-hair covered couch.)

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Anyway, that new ‘ho, Terresssssa, made a comment in an earlier episode that “karma’s a bitch” and that Teresa is reaping the whirlwind from her generally skanky behavior. That got me to thinking about karma, payback and “what goes around, comes around.”

Karma is a weighty subject; its the idea that we carry unresolved issues from one life into the next until they’re sorted out.   But there’s a simpler aspect: the actions we take right now, good or bad, have a more immediate impact.

There’s an energetic component: if you have a positive or benign intention, good karma goes out into the ether. If you do things that are underhanded or have a sketchy angle, the negative goes out there, too.

And like a giant cosmic boomerang, those energies return in your direction – but with an added punch. (Having had a boomerang once hit me in the head, I can attest to the “ouch” factor.)

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Wiccans have a saying that “whatever you put out comes back to you, three times three” (you do the math – but suffice to say, it’s a lot). That’s why no intelligent witch will work on the dark side; the initial payoff of a negative spell might be just fine. But watch out for later. Hoo boy, its gonna get ugly.

To me, karma is a physical law.   Our actions have a ripple effect, like throwing a stone into a pond. Most of us do more good than bad stuff, which balances things out. But I think its wise to weigh our big decisions by the impact they may have. Because that energy will return to you, three times three. Right, Teresa?

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PS – Remember, if there’s something in your life that has you tied up in knots, a reading can help untangle things. Get in touch.

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Getting Unstuck

One of the most common things my clients say when they sit down with me is, “I feel….stuck.”  It comes up over and over again. And again.

I know that feeling: you’re like one of those old vinyl records, and the needle keeps skipping. Yes, I’m dating myself, but whatever – where you’re at doesn’t fit in one or more ways. You’re bored with your job, but not sure what else is out there. Your relationship feels like it belongs to someone else.   You’ve got a nagging feeling, “Is this all there is?”   But at the same time, you can’t seem to make any significant moves.

Super-annoying.  Especially if the album is by Captain and Tennille.

Super-annoying. Especially if the album is by Captain and Tennille.

This is where intuitive information can be especially useful:

1) Finding the much, MUCH bigger picture. When you’re deep in the weeds on something like a complicated relationship, its hard to see past your own nose. When I tune in, my intuitive radar pulls back to see other influences at work. Most clients are surprised at what else is going on; that larger perspective is enormously enlightening.

When your issues can be seen...from space!

When your issues can be seen…from space!

2) Decoding the karma and past life influences affecting you. I know, I know: some of you are rolling your eyes. But I’ve had too much evidence of multiple lives; its the way we learn and evolve. And there are plenty of things we “carry over” that impact our present life. A reading can shed some light.

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3) Hooking you up with your spirit team. Frequently, I pick up on spirit guides, loved ones on the Other Side – even angels – who are available to help you.   These powerful entities can see waaaay further down the road and provide not just a look ahead, but assistance to get you where you need to go.

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There’s a reason humans have access to information from our sixth sense: it’s specifically there to help us live the life we came here to do. So if you’re feeling stuck, take a fresh look and see all the options you have to work with. They’re there. Promise.

Three Things About Your Life Purpose

At a certain point in our life, we may worry that we’ve missed the boat on why we’re here. I’ve had a ton of clients lately wondering what their “life purpose” is. That nagging sense of something unfulfilled, unmet – that’s the Universe nudging you to take another look at things.

Now before you start hypeventilating over what a big job that seems to be, take a second. Over the years, I’ve sussed out a few things about the whole “life purpose” thingy. Read on and relax….

1) The term “life purpose” is pretty overwhelming. Don’t know about you, but it used to make me think of folks like Mozart or Madame Curie or Madonna – they all did something big and huge and left a permanent mark on humanity’s radar. “Life Purpose” implies something major. But that’s more the exception than the rule.

Even SHE probably worries that she was supposed to be a Doctor.

Even SHE probably worries that she was supposed to be a Doctor.

I love the story of St. Therese of Liseux, AKA “The Little Flower.”  Her thing was all about honoring God in little ways. Small kindnesses done to a single fellow human versus the big show in the ginormous cathedral. She famously said, “I only love simplicity. I have a horror of pretence.”  Word, sister.

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I think this is how, for many of us, our Life Purpose shows up. What seems to come naturally, easily are all hints of what you’re here to contribute.

One of my friends at the diner makes it a habit to tell me a corny joke every time I see him. I inevitably laugh and it sets my day off to a great start. This is no big thing – just a laugh shared from a friend.  But to make others feel good, well, this is part of his Life Purpose.

So take your definition of “Life Purpose” down a notch. Or five. Not everyone will be Mozart – but each of us can contribute in small ways for the betterment of us all.  And in the big picture, that’s more important.

2) Believe it or not, your life purpose is frequently uncovered by the suckiest things in your life. I just read a gentleman who recently endured both cancer and a heart attack. I saw very clearly that his experience would be useful for other folks dealing with illness. I also saw that he could use his talent for art to create little “healing cards” to distribute at hospitals, etc. That would be one way to make his “theme” work on a practical level.

When you look at the challenges and struggles of your life, what common thread runs through them all?  This is very likely a key to what it is you came here to do.

3) Your Life Purpose doesn’t have to be the one and only thing you do. There’s this idea that, once you discover it, you quit your job, leave your home and family, and head off into the world to do it. For some people, that may be the case.

Clearly living the fantasy.

Clearly living the fantasy.

 

But for most of us, we learn to fold our purpose into our overall life.

Flip your thinking and see “purpose” more as a thread that runs through your life. Because that can be enough – giving you a compass by which to direct the rest of your actions.

Of course, if you discover that healing or helping others is what makes your heart sing, your job as a forensic accountant may not cut it.   You may find yourself making changes in order to spend more time doing what makes you happy. But that’s not an absolute; don’t let this myth overwhelm you. Finding small ways to address your purpose is likely to make the rest of your daily life much richer and satisfying, and stop those nagging 3 a.m. moments.

Remember St. Therese.   And if I can help you uncover your own Life Purpose by using the Tarot, past life readings and help from your guides and angels, get in touch.

The Blessings Challenge

I had a client here the other day who’s in a rough place. According to her, nothing is going right in her life. Zero, Zip. Bupkis. She was hunched over in the chair, hair in the face, and no matter what positive news I saw coming for her, it wasn’t enough. She was so caught up in her negative zone, that she couldn’t let anything hopeful in.  And I don’t think she wanted to.

She makes Grumpy Cat look like a kid on Red Bull and Pixie Stix.

She makes Grumpy Cat look like a kid on Red Bull and Pixie Stix.

Check it: when I’d last seen her a few months before, she was freaked out because she’d been unemployed for awhile. She never thought she’d work again.  I saw a job coming, and guess what,  she DID get it.  But now its not enough. She hates the job, it doesn’t pay enough, she doesn’t like the commute, yadda yadda yadda.

As a psychic, it wouldn’t much matter what I told her — she would never step up and accept anything good.   She’d just let the bad roll on over her.

Look, I understand that, when tough things are being fired at you like one of those tennis ball machines, its hard to stay positive.  These are precisely the times that call for summoning up your inner badass.

I wrote in my book, OK, So You’re Dead that souls on the Other Side vie for the chance to incarnate into human form.  I know, I know – who would choose to deal with all the stuff we have to deal with down here? But the truth is, being human offers the fast track to our spiritual development.   It’s serious boot camp.

So when you’re faced with a rough patch, you have a choice. Being a Debbie Downer may feel good because it completely absolves you of any responsibility, but it will change not one blessed thing.  It does not serve you.  In fact, that downer energy will just attract more icky stuff, like one nasty-ass magnet.

Now I’m not saying that you act like Mary Poppins On Nitrous Oxide, either.  I just want you to recognize that we are all given positive energy to work with in our lives. It’s a law of nature: yin and yang, dark and light, up and down. There’s never any bad that doesn’t balance out with something good; you may have to look for it, but its ALWAYS there.

So here’s the challenge: every night before you go to sleep, tick off seven things going right in your world (seven is a power number).

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Your list could be as simple as the fact that you’re sleeping in a comfy bed, your kids are healthy, you have a roof over your head, you got a smile from the coffee guy, you’re not your mother-in-law, etc. I want you to do this every night for two weeks.

Whenever you encounter a tough moment during the day, recall one of your seven blessings from the night before. It counteracts the “heaviness” of that initial moment.

NOTE: The suckier your life seems at the moment, the more you need to do this!!!

I think what you’ll find is that the rough edges in your world start to smooth out. The more you look for what’s good and right, the more things will start to go right.

This is not Pollyanna talk; there are real physical properties to our attitude. It’s strictly an energy thing.  So when you’re challenged by the world, choose to stand up and claim the good stuff.  It’s like a shot of antibiotics to negative funk.

Need me to kick you in the butt and help move you forward?  Get in touch.

 

How — and When — Change Really Happens

Her email was all in caps: HELP! I’M TRYING TO CHANGE, BUT DON’T SEE ANYTHING HAPPENING!!!! (Yeah, that made my head hurt, too.)

This client is not alone. Lately, I’ve had a run on folks coming by who are trying their damndest to make a shift – but the results don’t seem to be following. It’s super-frustrating.

Most of us think “change” is like a vending machine: we put our intention in, so we should get an instant payoff. Wouldn’t that be great? But the reality is, we feel like our intention is a stuck bag of potato chips. Hate when that happens.

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What I frequently see is that the payoff is closer than we realize. We just have to keep on truckin’. That’s what the Universe asks us to do: keep walking.   Have some faith. Because with each step we take, the Powers That Be take one towards us.

I’ve seen this happen time and again: we think that we have to do it all, but the truth is, we have partners. And when we show the tiniest bit of willingness to move ahead on our path, we get an assist. Our spirit guides, the angels, loved ones on the Other Side….these are just a few of the entities available to us to help us fulfill our mission here  [the rule is, though, you have to ask them for help. Even if you’re not sure what kind of “help” you need,  just send out a generic 911 call.  Then watch for signs that you’ve been heard.]

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I also think our idea of “results” needs to shift. Our society encourages the notion of “overnight success,” “instant this” and “instant that.” But successful change is a process. It’s not one moment, but a bunch of them.   If Jeannie could blink and make it happen all at once, that would be cheating (remember how many problems her “help” caused for Major Nelson?  Am I dating myself?)

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The Moon card in the Tarot is all about this. You can’t see a foot in front of you in the dark. It’s all kinds of scary (hence, the yapping dogs). But in order to get out of that spooky forest you need to keep pushing through. If you just sit down and curl up in a ball, that’s how you’ll stay.

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Be brave. Even when you can’t see the results yet, keep working it.   Keep the finishing line in mind. All of a sudden, you’ll come around the corner – and there it will be.

If I can help you push past some obstacles and stay on the path, get in touch.  In the meantime, sing us out, Bono.

 

Patience Is A Virtue…and A Pain In the Ass

One of my long-time clients has a problem with patience. That message comes up frequently in her readings – to the point that we both laugh about it. She’s a woman in a hurry and has lots of things she wants to make better in her life.

Her problem is, when they don’t occur on her timetable, she gets frustrated. Raise your hand if you know how she feels. I’ll wait…..

We want things, and as Veruca Salt sang in Willy Wonka, “I want it NOW.” It doesn’t make it any easier that we live in an age of ATMs, drive-thru windows, microwaves and instant downloads. Our ability to hang in for the long haul has atrophied.

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But what we have to keep in mind is that the Universe has its own timetable. And I believe there’s a reason for that. By aligning ourselves more with the process than the result, we gain far more than the “thing” itself.

This is not to say that we just sit and wait and do nothing. We continue to put some effort towads our goals. We keep them in mind. But we’re not super-attached to the “when.” It’s a partnership with powers greater than ours.

The 7 of Pentacles in the Tarot shows a farmer looking at the results of his patience. These things have grown in accordance with nature’s clock – not his. In that time, he’s tended them, watered and weeded – but let Nature do its thing.

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When something hasn’t manifested in your life just yet, the Universe may be telling you that you’re not quite ready for it. You’re still in the process. And there’s a ton of value in that.

Before she was twerking and sticking her tongue out at every photo op, Miley Cyrus did a song that is applicable to what I’m talking about.   When you’re struggling with patience, take a look around at what “the climb” is teaching you. That will make reaching the peak that much richer.

The Super-Easy Trick to Positive Change

I had a client here the other day who broke down sobbing. She wanted to change things in her life. Not unusual. That’s why most people come for a reading.

But the reason she was crying was that she was overwhelmed. Because she wanted to change EVERYTHING. All at once.

At a certain point in our lives, we take a look around and realize that some things aren’t quite what we hoped for. The career we once craved has become boring. The relationship that once made our hearts tingle has become “meh.” Daily life is just about getting through our “to do” list.   That quiet dissatisfaction is a sign the Universe wants you to shake things up a little bit.

The look right before you decide to set the house on fire.

The look right before you decide to set the house on fire.

The thing about change is, we both want it and fear it. There’s something comforting about the familiar and the boring. We know how to “do” it. With our eyes closed.   The idea of changing jobs, ending a relationship, moving to a different city, whatever, freaks us out. As much as we know intellectually that our life could be richer and better, our gut clenches up at the thought of shaking up the status quo.

My client was crying because those red lights were going off in her head. She wanted to do too much at once and every stay-put instinct in her was making her wig out. I could see that there were better things lining up for her in the next few months – but she had to take advantage of that energy and move towards them.

We mapped out a plan to prioritize her “change” list. Instead of tackling everything, I looked at the one thing that would have the greatest impact overall.

By getting a better job 1) her financial situation would improve, allowing her to 2) move to a nicer apartment. And 3) because she wouldn’t be stressing over her bills and having to work a second job, she’d have more bandwidth available for a new relationship. See what I did there?

The next thing I had to do was to inspire her to make the moves necessary to make all that good stuff happen. The trick to faking out the Fear of Change response is: itty bitty, teeny weeny steps. So small that your freak-out reflex doesn’t even know its happening.

Breadcrumbs lead you where you need to be.

Breadcrumbs lead you where you need to be.

Take a look at the thing you need or want to change. Break it down into M&M sized pieces. Don’t tackle more than one of them a day. You want to go so slow that the fear never wakes up. No matter how tempted or motivated you are to do more, don’t. I can’t stress this enough: doing more is like poking the bear.

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We are meant to do more and be more in this life we’ve been given. We chose to be here in human form. The dissatisfaction you feel is a sign its time to evolve to the next step of your journey. I’m a big believer that, if you make even the smallest effort, the Universe will meet you halfway. For each small step, the Universe makes one towards your goal, too. It’s your co-creator in change. You’ll be there before you know it. Get going.

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How Animals Think

One of the things I love most about doing animal communication is how clear they are when they “speak.”  They get right to the point and say what they mean in very few words. I mean, VERY few.

A woman called me to help with her cat. The animal had run off and refused to be trapped or enticed back into the house. I got that she was old and sick, and wanted to be left alone to die on her own terms.

The owner begged and pleaded – literally – for kitty to return home.

“Tell her, if she comes home, I’ll give her the stinky treats she likes.”

[CAT] “No.”

[OWNER] “And I promise she can have that spot on the couch that she’s not allowed on.

[CAT] “No.”

[OWNER] “Tell her that-“

[CAT] “Nuh-uh.”

It went on and on like this for a good while, the cat being very clear about her intentions. The owner, naturally, was turning herself inside out with promises, pleas, explanations and the kitchen sink, but kitty wasn’t having it.

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There was no need for her to share her reasoning, no long explanations to patch up the owner’s feelings. She simply said what was what.

For her part, the owner was taking on a lot of emotional weight, worried that kitty would think she hadn’t tried hard enough to get her back. I got very clearly that that never even crossed the cat’s mind.

Animals don’t get into the complicated emotional riffs that we humans do: “If I don’t do this, then so and so will think this and then I’ll have to do the other thing, yadda yadda yadda.” You know how it is: we’re playing perpetual chess games in our head with the people and circumstances in our life. It’s a way for us to avoid conflicts (or in some bitchy cases, CAUSE conflicts. Hello, Real Housewives).

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But this perpetual emotional jujitsu is exhausting.

Animals don’t bother with it. Their inner lives are clear and simple. I don’t mean this to sound like they’re stupid, because they are most definitely not. I actually see this as indicative of their superiority – they’re not tying themselves in knots over every little thing. They don’t complicate the situation or attach judgements or look for hidden meanings in another’s words.  They don’t blame or hold grudges.  They are a walking Zen moment with stinky breath.

I mean, how else can a dog continue to eagerly greet their owner even when said owner is a straight-up jerk?

At any rate, animals are spiritual teachers in fur/finned clothing. Try thinking like your cat or dog for a moment and see life simply in the here and now.  Get straight to your point without a lot of additional words or conditions.  Spit it out, already.  It’s a refreshing break from the overthinking we habitually do.

Just remember not to lick yourself in public.

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Turning Your Life Upside Down Is A Good Thing

I recently discovered these guys, who call themselves 2Cellos. They’re classically-trained cellists from Croatia (and cute, too!) who found themselves, as many classical artists do, strapped for cash. They had an idea to do a homemade video of their version of a very UN-classical piece, Michael Jackson’s “Smooth Criminal.”

Well, the thing went viral. They wound up on “Ellen”, on tour with Elton John and have garnered a whole new cash-paying audience who love their renditions of everything from U2 and Coldplay, to Guns N Roses and AC/DC.   Here’s my current favorite, their take on Highway to Hell. Feel free to head-bang along…

These guys took their situation (starving artist) and completely flipped it on its head. By doing something radical, they got a new result.

Remember this episode of Seinfeld, where George does the “opposite” of everything and winds up with the life he’s been dreaming of?

This is the lesson of the Hanged Man in the Tarot; when you’re stuck, stand on your head (metaphorically speaking). See how things look from a different perspective.  This guy is having a serious “a-ha” moment as he hangs upside down.
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So what’s the opposite of your problem? If you’re broke, you’re now by definition, solvent; a lousy relationship becomes a loving one; family drama becomes family peace. You have a new idea and a new image of the situation – so how will you get there?

This is a powerful idea worth playing with. We get so locked in to our circumstances, that we never let any fresh air in.  Don’t dismiss this exercise –that will just keep you stuck.   Flip your life on its head and see where it takes you.

Hey, it worked for George Costanza.

[Remember, if you need some help breaking it all down, I’m here.]

Letting Go of the Past

It’s been a long, cold, lonely winter, hasn’t it?  Here in New Jersey, winter truly made us her bitch.  But before we know it, the snow will be gone, the grass growing and I’ll be elbow-deep in mulch and new plants again. The cold nights and biting winds will be in the past.  Thank the Lord.

It puts me in mind of this Tarot card.   I love it when this one turns up in a spread.  The Sun represents coming out of the dark and back into the light.  One is reborn, with the sunshine illuminating a fresh new path.

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The Sun is about putting the past behind us, once and for all.  Notice that wall?  It’s keeping the past where it belongs, without it leaching through into the present moment.  Sunflowers represent a spiritual barrier, reminding us that the past has contributed to our growth, but it doesn’t need to keep influencing us.

See that kid riding nekkid?  That’s you, reborn.  Wheee!

I’ve had numerous clients fearful that their past will continue to determine their future possiblities.  They’re being held hostage by things that are overwith.  The past is like a nasty wad of gum on their shoe.

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Take a moment to think about the issues in your life:  what still haunts you?  When you think of a problem, what’s your first thought about it (“I always do that….” “Ever since then, I’ve never had a good job…”  “I’m a loser when it comes to love”….”Mom always said I was [fill in the blank]….”

How often do those old echoes  come up during the day?  Really pay attention to your default thought process.   Make a note of everything that goes through your head, carrying a trace of the past.  When you catch yourself, write it down….then burn it.  See the past going up in smoke.  Literally.

Because the past is overwith.  Done.  Finito.  If you can see it as having taught you something, you can move forward in a stronger, clearer way.  The past does not have to define what comes next;  it can inform it in a smarter way, making the future that much smoother.

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Take the lesson of the Sun card as we move into Spring.  And take my favorite Beatles song (well, one of them) as your soundtrack.     “It’s alright….”  [And remember, I‘m always here if you need a reading to see what’s on the horizon…]